Where: 42nd at 5th Ave. Hobo (to himself): Oh, so is that it? Every time you want to make me feel small, you throw Tiger Woods in my face?
Lady: Do you have Real Simple?
Magazine Seller: What?
Lady: Real Simple? Do you have Real Simple magazine?
Magazine Seller: What?
Lady: Real Simple! Do you have Real Simple?! –Magazine Stand, Herald Square Overheard by: Rehey
Cashier #1: I felt so bad. She was trying to be so nice to her, but this woman was just horrible.
Cashier #2: What happened?
Cashier #1: She asked her if she wanted a vente mocha frappacino–she was even smiling and stuff when she asked–and then the woman got all mad and said, “Look it, I don’t speak Italian.” –Starbucks, Astor Place
Ranting guy: You don’t remember the ’60s! You weren’t there! It was a blur! –E. 4th St. & Ave. B Overheard by: Chaoskitty
Chick: The waiter said I couldn’t sit on his lap. Then he said not only couldn’t I sit on his lap, that the people next to us complained that I was sitting on his lap! That’s the stupidest thing I ever heard in my life, that you can’t sit on someone’s lap in a restaurant. And to blame the people next to us, who were lovely? –Our Place, 3rd Avenue
Ghetto chick: She went by and shoved me and was like “Ex-cuse me!”, but not like “excuse me”, you know? So she had this long hair? Well, I grabbed her by the hair, flung her down the stairs, and started kicking her ass. I’ll fight anybody. –D train
A pushy, obnoxious woman tries to cram her way onto the subway before the passengers exiting even get a chance to get out the door. She screams: If you would get out of the way and let me on first, then you can get off! –Penn Station
Old lady: Please stop!
Conductor: I didn’t see you. The train pulls away. Old lady: Fuckhead. –23rd Street F station
Angry-looking woman #1: Yo, I think that cricket said somethin'
Angry-looking woman #2: Hold on, I think that bitch is sayin' some shit!
Angry-looking woman #1, looking for cricket: You wanna start somethin? Nobody be talking shit about me.
Angry-looking woman #2: Let's fuck this bitch up.
Woman, as train stops: Mmm-mm… Excuse you!
Younger man: Huh?
Woman: You cut in front of me.
Younger man: How did I cut in front of you? You get up, and the people closer to the door go first. Like on a plane.
Woman: You cut in front of me, and a gentleman never cuts in front of a lady.
Younger man: Right. And a lady doesn't go “mmm-mm… Excuse you!”
–Grand Central Platform