Archive for the ‘Anger Management’ Category

Just Wait 'Til You Have Wednesday One-Liners Of Your Own!

Ghetto guy herding large group of rowdy kids off train: Scuse me, scuse me, scuse me! Lotta kids, they all ain't mine!

–C Train

Overheard by: Julie S.

Professional woman on cell: I mean, she said she'd finally come to the place where she realizes her kids are shit, and she can just wash her hands off the whole situation and be done with it!

–40th St & 6th Ave

Overheard by: Rachel

Receptionist to UPS guy: Shit, I got five kids, and they're all bad.

–6th Ave & 47th

Overheard by: thanks mom

Angry woman, yelling on phone: Nigga, don't give me that "parenting role" shit!

–Flatbush Ave & Park Place, Brooklyn

Concerned mother: He's not even potty-trained, all he does is eat the toilet paper.

–University Pl & 8th St

Overheard by: Justin

Elsewhere: Wednesday One-liners

Wednesday Drunk-Liners

Tipsy, barefoot woman, lifting skirt in broad daylight: Gotta air out my coochie!

–W 88th St

Belligerent drunk woman: I've never even heard of these fucking stops! (later) Scarsdale! I don't even know how to spell "Scarsdale"! Other than…Scarsdale. (later) What the fuck is Hartsdale? Slap me across the face with a big dick!

–Metro-North Train

Drunk girl to friends sitting on a couch left on the sidewalk: Don't sit on that couch, it's probably covered in bodily urine!

–East Village

Overheard by: Herr Professor Doktor

Drunk wife to drunk husband during poker game: Don't you dare tell me about things that I don't understand!

–Poker Game, Astoria

Overheard by: NYCWATERBABY

Drunk girl: Bedford Avenue does not know how to find the clit!

–L Train

Wednesday One-liners Lost Their MetroCard

Hipster guy: Dude, he always blames it on the train dispatcher. He needs to own his problems, you know? –F train Overheard by: Patrick Di Justo

Yep, That’s Everyone

Angry Guy: Fuck New England. Fuck people from Boston. Fuck Pats’ fans, fuck Red Sox fans, fuck Ben Affleck, fuck Denis Leary, fuck Harvard, fuck MIT, fuck Aerosmith, fuck the Pixies, fuck David Foster Wallace, fuck Boston Cream pie and clam chowder and Sam Adams, fuck Dr. Spock, fuck pahking your cah in Hahvahd Yahd, fuck Sacco and Vanzetti, fuck Paul Revere, fuck ‘em all. –Borough Park

…And a Warm and Hearty “Suck It” to Your Entire Family

Suit to woman blocking left side of escalator: Politely excuse me, could you move aside? (woman waves man around and keeps chatting on cell)
Suit, politely: Ma'am, you should stay to the right if you are standing.
(woman angrily waves, mutters)
Suit, pushing her past
: Fucking cunt!

Woman, politely: Fuck you, bitch.

–WTC PATH Station

Overheard by: Mondo Man

“…Munchkins with lollipops? Yeah, right!”

Chick: I don’t never know where you at.
Guy: Aw, baby, I always tell you where I at.
Chick: Oh no, you don’t. In fact, I still don’t know where you at yesterday.
Guy: Well…I don’t always know where you at neither.
Chick: Oh yes, you do. I always tell you where I at.
Guy: Nuh uh. I don’t never know where you at till you get home from there. –WTC PATH station Overheard by: Meredith