Black female customer: “Forget it, girl you must be suffering from NIGligence” – At Au Bon Pain on 37th & 5th, when she just missed the 4-6pm half price baked goods by one minute, and the black female who worked behind the register would not let her buy them for half price
Chick: …and the next thing I knew, I kicked her ass three times. –Lolita Bar
Drunk: Where’s my boy, man? –Odessa, Ave. A
Puerto Rican Teenager #1 in Williamsburg: “Hey, calling someone else gay means that you’re gay!” Puerto Rican Teenager #2: “Are you calling me gay? ARE YOU CALLING ME GAY? I’m not gay! Bring any woman out here right now, and I will fuck her in front of you all, in front of the world. Anyone. Do it, right now! I will show the whole world that I am not gay! Do you hear me? Do you hear me? I AM NOT GAY!”
Where: 42nd at 5th Ave. Hobo (to himself): Oh, so is that it? Every time you want to make me feel small, you throw Tiger Woods in my face?
Cashier #1: I felt so bad. She was trying to be so nice to her, but this woman was just horrible.
Cashier #2: What happened?
Cashier #1: She asked her if she wanted a vente mocha frappacino–she was even smiling and stuff when she asked–and then the woman got all mad and said, “Look it, I don’t speak Italian.” –Starbucks, Astor Place
Chick: The waiter said I couldn’t sit on his lap. Then he said not only couldn’t I sit on his lap, that the people next to us complained that I was sitting on his lap! That’s the stupidest thing I ever heard in my life, that you can’t sit on someone’s lap in a restaurant. And to blame the people next to us, who were lovely? –Our Place, 3rd Avenue
Ghetto chick: She went by and shoved me and was like “Ex-cuse me!”, but not like “excuse me”, you know? So she had this long hair? Well, I grabbed her by the hair, flung her down the stairs, and started kicking her ass. I’ll fight anybody. –D train
A pushy, obnoxious woman tries to cram her way onto the subway before the passengers exiting even get a chance to get out the door. She screams: If you would get out of the way and let me on first, then you can get off! –Penn Station
Old lady: Please stop!
Conductor: I didn’t see you. The train pulls away. Old lady: Fuckhead. –23rd Street F station