Archive for the ‘Anger Management’ Category

We Also Carry Real New York Beatings

Woman #1: You ever just have one of those days?
Woman #2: Yeah.
Woman #1: I’m having a whole week. I swear to god. And I just walked here from…Oh, forget it.
Woman #2: Oh.
Woman #1: And now I can’t even find my makeup! I swear to god, if they don’t have it, I’m gonna fucking…I don’t know!…I’ll fucking kill a tourist!
Woman #2: Oh, I hope it’s not me!…Ha, ha, ha! 5 minutes later. Woman #2: That’s her! That’s her! That’s the New Yorker who cursed at me and threatened me!
Woman #3: It’s like seeing one in their natural habitat! I can’t wait to tell everyone a real New Yorker threatened you!
Woman #2: I know! It’s awesome! –Sephora, Broadway between 43rd & 44th Overheard by: Non-Bitchy New Yorker

We Only Regret Having to Reach Our Destination

Woman #1: What the fuck are you pushing me for? You think you own this damn train, get the fuck off of me!
Man: Miss, I was just…
Woman #1: Just fucking what? I don’t need to be feeling your ass up against my hands, nigga!
Woman #2: Honey, just…
Woman #1: Bitch, you just shut up! All you motherfuckers, stop looking this way, this doesn’t involve y’all!
Conductor over PA: Good afternoon, I hope everyone is having an enjoyable ride home…

–Downtown 4 train, pm rush hour

Overheard by: Vinnie

The Little-Known Third Option in “Bluetooth or Crazy?”

College girl #1, about old lady talking angrily behind her: Who do you think she's yelling at? Don't look, I think you should guess. Don't look!
College girl #2: No, I'm going to look. Yeah, she's not talking to anyone. No phone.
College girl #1: Oh.
(they both turn around to stare at her and continue walking)
College girl #1
: Well, she's probably Italian.

–27th & Park Ave

Overheard by: Lynne

And It’s Too Windy for Air Mail

Mailwoman: Ma’am, the zip code you gave is for Michigan.
Lady: No! Illinois is in Chicago. My son don’t live in Michigan. Illinois is in Chicago! Chicago is a big state with lots of towns! Illinois is in Chicago!
Mailwoman: You gived me the wrong information, and I can’t help you.
Lady: You’re giving me bullshit. You’re fucking bullshit! Bullshit! Illinois is in fucking Chicago. This is fucking bullshit. –Post Office, Jamaica Overheard by: James