Archive for the ‘Anorexic’ Category

Once Again: Nothing Tastes as Good as Thin Feels

Well-dressed girl #1: You know what?
Well-dressed girl #2: What?
Well-dressed girl #1: Throwing up at work really isn’t as bad as it seems. –Prince Street Chick #1: …so, I got these laxatives.
Chick #2: Did you take them?
Chick #3: No, but I never eat. I have, like, one orange a day. –Columbus Circle Girl: It might be time for anorexia. –Columbia University gym Overheard by: djlindee A woman can be heard vomiting in the bathroom. Maitre d’: Did she drink too much or is she just watching her weight? –Pastis, 9th Avenue Overheard by: Initials

Wednesday One-liners Watch What They Eat

Fortysomething dude: Don’t tell me I don’t know about metabolism! I have known about metabolism my entire life. Metabolize yourself! –The Gate, Park Slope Overheard by: Moochy and D-Rock Girl on cell: I don’t want to talk about your eating disorder every fucking time we talk! –Penn Station Overheard by: mondo man

A Wednesday for Breakfast, a One-Liner for Lunch, and a Sensible Dinner

Dancer girl: I dunno, I mean, like, I wish they made a size like, triple zero, so I would have something to look forward to, y’know? –Central Park Man: Yeah, that’s how you gain weight: a backed-up colon. I cleaned mine out this weekend. –B54 Bus Overheard by: Alma Molato Old woman, very loudly, in the middle of the movie: Boy, is she skinny! –Movie theater, 86th Street b/w 2nd & 3rd Overheard by: The New York Crank Girl on cell: If bitch can’t afford to buy her own groceries, she can just get skinny! –Green Village Used Clothing, Bushwick Anorexic fashionista: Any self-respecting anorexic knows that! –Lincoln Center, 62nd & 9th Man on cell: You went to a party last night? Well, that means you have to do three hours tomorrow. And I want you to drink lots of water, but none of that crystal light crap. That is seven calories that you do not need. –Blockbuster, Broadway

Wednesday Doesn't Eat Enough to Keep a One-Liner Alive

Skinny professor: John* [a chubby professor] and I started Weight Watchers together at the same time! –Hostos Faculty Dining Room Overheard by: glad she's leaving Skinny girl to clerk: Hi, do you have a soy-based, non-dairy substitute for heavy cream? –Whole Foods, Union Square Overheard by: office peon loves Thanksgiving food Girl ordering Coffee Coolatta with skim milk: I hope this tastes as good as it did when I was anorexic. Everything tasted good back then… –Dunkin Donuts, Bay Ridge Overheard by: allison Jewish grandmotherly type: Women with anorexia seem to have such strange eating habits. –Upper West Side Anorexic-looking girl: I want a tic tac. I'm hungry. –95th & 2nd

Wow, Your Eyes Are Bigger Than Your Stomach

Trendy female college student: I feel dizzy.
Twinkie male friend: Did you eat anything today?
Trendy female college student: No… but I looked at a picture of an English muffin yesterday and I'm still full.
Twinkie male friend: Hmmm. You're sure you're not hungry?
Trendy female college student: Eh… Can you get me a bagel? Not like a real bagel, but a picture of one? –V Train Overheard by: eating disorders arent funny