Archive for the ‘Apologies’ Category

And Now You Expect Me to Walk??

Girlfriend, exiting cafe: I told you you should have googled this place before we drove all the way here!
Boyfriend: I'm sorry. Let's just go into the city! Bars are open until five there!
Girlfriend: You couldn't entertain me in Brooklyn for half an hour. What are you going to do with me in the city until five?
Boyfriend: Walk up and down the city streets! –Bedford Ave & 6th St

Ta-Tas Prove Nothing in This Neighborhood, Mon Ami

Foreign girl #1 to lesbian entering ladies' room: I'm sorry, this is a ladies' room.
Lesbian: I'm a woman.
Foreign girl #1: Oh my god, I'm so sorry! That's the worst thing I've ever done!
Foreign girl #2, coming out of stall: Wait, no. You're so not a woman!
Lesbian: You wanna see the ta-tas? –Sidewalk Bar, 6th & Ave A

Wednesday One-Liners Want to Be a Part Of It

Suit: That's why I can't help but love New York. New York is like the sick uncle that touches you when no ones around. –Grand Central Terminal Girl, after passing a tourist bumping into her: In New York we say "excuse me!" –Macy's, Herald Square Overheard by: The City Planner Guy to friend: Are we in the inner city or just the city? –1st Ave & 6th St Dude walking out of Penn station: You know what's great about going out in New York City? You can get completely bombed and it's no big deal, because you'll probably never see those people again, you know? –Penn Station Overheard by: BPV Aussie: The key to this city is to use words like "shitter." –96th & Columbus Ave

Wednesday One-Liners Fade to Black

Slightly drunk kid from Alaska: I realized I had blacked out when I woke up on top of my sister. –14th St Overheard by: The Reverend Young girl on cell: You passed out from him choking you? (pause) Like…does it…um…sting? Did he apologize at least? (pause) Ya know, it's not okay to get so fucked up that you don't know that he's choking you. –Max Cafe Overheard by: D to the ana Loud girl on cell: Oh my god! Don't even worry about hitting on her too much, she was totally blacked out last night! –Whole Foods Union Square Overheard by: bildita Preppy girl: Is "faint" a euphemism for "boner"? –LaGuardia Airport Overheard by: Diana