Hipster on cell: Dude, yeah, coffee gives me the shits too; but I'd rather have the shits than no coffee. –Dunkin' Donuts Overheard by: Madalyn Poet, selling self-published book on train: We're like Starbucks coffee and biscotti; you're tall and hot and I'm hard and nutty. –Uptown 6 Train Overheard by: Marc Little girl to mother: It's like every single person in the whole wide world came to Starbucks and we were the veeeerrrrryyy last ones. –Starbucks Colonel Sanders-looking man, in strong Southern accent: I want somethin cold… Whadya git? –Starbucks
Disheveled white female to two male black space-art painters: You gotta know Nate!
(no response from men) I took out his eyes and his dick. –E 8th b/w Broadway & Astor Overheard by: No clue what that actually meant
Magician, after doing awesome trick: Well, do you believe in magic now?
Magician: Really? Well, then you might just as well believe in Jesus. –NYU
Girl: Imagine if you're fat? You would die. –College of Staten Island Overheard by: Nameless Girl on cell: I just don't trust her, she's fat. Fat girls always cause problems. –3rd Ave & 40th Overheard by: Liz Overweight teen girl to friend: It's like, I'm kind of hungry but like I don't feel like eating anything. (a minute later to cashier) I'll have three bacon cheeseburgers, large fries and a frosty. –Wendy's, Union Square Overheard by: I was starving and bought less 14-year-old girl to group of friends: I don't skinny dip, I chunky dunk. –18th St & 2nd Ave Overheard by: Will Senior ad exec to junior art designer: What the fuck doesn't this guy understand? The machine literally sucks fat out of your body! So we can't show a girl with a huge ass and huge thighs in the ad! Get it the fuck together! –49th St & 8th Ave Overheard by: agree to agree 20-something girl: I think I look fat when I don't have armpit hair. –Canal & Mott
Wannabe hip hop artist: Yo, you like hip hop?
Local: No. But he does. (points at random tourist standing still and disappears into the crowd) –42nd & Broadway Overheard by: Mike
Puppeteer: Do you know who Benjamin Franklin is?
Little boy: There’s no such thing as Benjamin Franklin! –McDonald’s, 9th Street, Brooklyn Overheard by: Ian
Drunk girl: I think he uses his cancer to be cute. –Bourgeois Pig, MacDougal St Freak show barker: I hate cute ventriloquism. –Outside Coney Island Freak Show Overheard by: Miss Carrie Girl, about three-year-old nearby: He’s so cute, I want to kidnap him! –PATH train Woman: … And then he pulled out a gun and threatened to kill me. It was so cute. –Ruby Foo’s, 49th & 8th Overheard by: Heather Man to toddler girl: That’s what politicians do. They try to look cute. –Smith & Union, Carroll Gardens, Brooklyn
Artist: Painting is wearing me out. I think I’m ready to retire.
Sales associate: Artists do not retire. As a matter of fact, they are the only ones that do not retire.
Artist: Yeah, they just jump off a bridge or out of a window. –New York Central Art Supply Store, 3rd Ave, between 10th & 11th St
Angry woman on cell: I don’t care if you are an ordained fucking minister, you can go straight to fucking hell! –Barnes & Noble, Union Square Overheard by: Last-minute shopper Crazy lady into microphone: Just because you don’t do drugs or have sex doesn’t mean you’re not going to hell! –Subway station, 43rd & Broadway, Times Square Teacher: Let’s go to hell! –Stuyvesant High Hobo: Is this the train to hell? It is! Oh my god, you’re all in purgatory! –A train, Brooklyn Overheard by: Geneva Scruffy artist type, to self: I’m not in hell, I’m in New York. I’m not in hell, I’m in New York… –Elevator, Bellevue Hospital Overheard by: David
Dude #1: Hey, how do you say ‘brains’ in German?
Dude #2: I don’t know. Why?
Dude #1: I need it for that movie I’m making — ‘Nazi Zombies.’ –Barnes & Noble, 8th & 6th