Hipster Girl: Hipsterism was made for Jewish guys and Asian Girls. – Williamsburg
Archive for the ‘Asians’ Category
So why was she wearing a Chris Isaak t-shirt?
Young Asian woman at a party on the Lower East Side: “…and it turns out that Chris Isaak asked me out only because he has an Asian fetish, and he’s apparently dated every Asian girl in San Francisco, I was creeped out…”
Overheard at Our Favorite Pizzeria II
Fratboy: The cute Asian girl. You know how everyone has a nickname? That’s hers: the cute Asian girl. And she always smells so good! –Joe’s Pizza, Carmine St.
They’ll Be Sure to Win the Special Olympics Pageant
Indian Girl: Oh my God! Our kids are going to be mad cute!
Asian Guy: Hell yeah! No doubt about it, with my looks and your height.
Indian Girl: Oh, and plus my body.
–Union Square
They Grow Up So Fast
Asian Kid: The fucking Triads are on your tail, bitch. Run!
Hispanic Kid: Fuck that! The Latin Kings will pump lead into your asses.
Black Kid: Nah, the Bloods and Crips will beat you down.
Jewish Kid: Yo…Um…I’ll get my yarmulke peoples to smack you all, son. What now nigga spic chink bitch ho? Suck my matzoh balls, bitch!
–Canal Street
Overheard by: Jonathan Harris
What would Jesus do?
Asian yuppie: Now I don’t have to be possessive anymore. Instead, I rely on Jesus. –Grand Cafe, Williamsburg
All Caste System Questions Aside
South Asian guy: You have a black friend?
South Asian girl: Yeah.
South Asian guy: Wow, I have a black friend too!
South Asian girl: Ah, well, mine is actually really nice!
–102nd St & Broadway
Overheard by: Flyin' Thing
Gosh, You Really Get Me!
Teenage Asian guy #1: I'm Chinese, I'm allowed to be obnoxious.
Teenage Asian guy #2: Dude, you're American. That's why you're obnoxious.
–4 Train
Overheard by: Hillary
The Episode Of Sliders That Left Everyone Bored
Short Asian man to tall black man: You play basketball?
Tall black man: You fix computers?
–Starbucks
Do You Have Wednesday One-Liner Envy?
Petite Asian woman on cell: And that's when I'll cut off his penis!
–East Village
Overheard by: Katie
Guy in the middle of group photo: Okay, now everybody take your cocks out.
–The Luxor Hotel, Columbus & 81st St
Loud matronly woman on cell, exasperated: Whose penis was on your thing?
–3rd & 16th
Overheard by: Joe & Eliz
Young lesbian on cell: She kept yelling "penis!" the whole time we were doing it… Should I call her?
–Long Island City
Overheard by: Sunny