Archive for the ‘Asians’ Category

Do You Have Wednesday One-Liner Envy?

Petite Asian woman on cell: And that's when I'll cut off his penis!

–East Village

Overheard by: Katie

Guy in the middle of group photo: Okay, now everybody take your cocks out.

–The Luxor Hotel, Columbus & 81st St

Loud matronly woman on cell, exasperated: Whose penis was on your thing?

–3rd & 16th

Overheard by: Joe & Eliz

Young lesbian on cell: She kept yelling "penis!" the whole time we were doing it… Should I call her?

–Long Island City

Overheard by: Sunny

Threeway One-Liners

Sulky waitress at family restaurant, complaining about management: I could be home right now having a threesome, but Chris won't let me leave.

–Astoria, Queens

Overheard by: Inkling

35-year-old camp Asian man on cell: Yo, girl! (pause) Hell no, I have no idea what shit went down last night. (pause) Oh-em-gee! All I know is I woke up with five guys.

–R Train

Overheard by: Abby and Holly

20-something college boy: I mean, there's no "I" in "threesome."

–Union Square

Guy to his friends: Yeah, I haven't decided what guy I would tag-team a girl with yet.

–Hairy Monk, 25th & 3rd

African American guy to hipster girl: It was the worst orgy I've ever been to. Nothing but kids and clothes everywhere you looked.

–48th St & Broadway

Overheard by: RevLina, The Pain-Proof Girl

The Biggest Wednesday One-Liner

Girl to friend: Is there a way to block fat people on OkCupid?

–Bedford Ave & 8th

Girlfriend to boyfriend: Remember the other day when you told me I had a fat ass and I didn't curse you out? So now you gonna buy me something.

–Pizzeria, 77th St & 1st Ave

Overheard by: Eric

Older woman waiting for a seat: Oh good, the fat one got up. Shit, an even fatter sits down.

–JFK Airport

Overheard by: Henry Pena

Posh-looking Asian chick: But he consumed over 6,000 calories a day, so he deserved whatever he had coming.

–Park Slope

Overheard by: Ladle

White hip-hopper on cell: Yeah, she's so big I thought there was two of her. Then I realized she was a dude!

–Broome & Forsyth

Overheard by: Terry

Awww

Really hot, butch Asian gay guy: It really just depends on the guy… I mean, I suppose versatility interests me. (looks away suspiciously, downs drink)
Really hot, butch white gay guy: Definitely. Versatility is key. I mean, I don't think I could ever date a total top. You're not a total top, are you?
Really hot, butch Asian gay guy: Not anymore.

–Bar, 51st & 9th