Guy #1: Look at that ass.
Guy #2: That is tight.
Guy #1: Man, I would have came eight times.
–W Train
Archive for the ‘Ass’ Category
Poo Poo Platter
Little Chinese Boy #1: You want to look at your dick.
Little Chinese Boy #2: You want to look at ass.
Little Chinese Boy #1: You want to look at pussy.
Little Chinese Boy #2: You want to look at your balls.
Little Chinese Boy #1: You’re gay.
Little Chinese Boy #2: Faggot.
–W Train
Distinguishing Characteristics
Where: E. 86th St. Mother to kindergartener: “You do too know who Derek Jeter is! He da one with da nice butt–BOOM!!”
What Defines The NYC Scent?
Dude #1: That party was fun. It was hot, though.
Dude #2: Yeah, it smelled like hot ass in there.
–Loews Hotel, Lexington & 51st
Guy: Yo, she smelled like dead hell!
–Flatbush
No Context, No Sense
Girl #1: …you think it would have been OK, all I had was a pastrami sandwich.
Girl #2: Well, that’ll certainly keep him out of your butt for a while…
–2nd St. & Ave. A
“And Your Pussy Looks Like…”
Woman #1: And then she said, your ass looks like my dog!
Woman #2: She’s right.
–West Village
Illegal Chinese Fireworks
A two year old Chinese girl decided to squat on a manhole cover. Chinese Mom: What are you doing?! That will warm up your butt and it will burst into flames! –66th & Columbus Overheard by: Todd Seavey
That's No Hobo–That's Janice Dickinson!
Skinny white girl to angry boyfriend: Those guys that I flirt with at work, I get paid to flirt with them. It's like I'm a prostitute.
Hobo: Not with that ass, you're not!
–Queens Plaza
You Cheeky Wednesday One-Liners!
Girl to roommate, after dog-sitting: I'm sad… I don't have anyone to stick their wet nose in my tushy.
–96th St & West End
Guy dressed as Santa: I just need my butt to evaporate.
–6th Ave & Waverly
Older black dude to another: She know I ain't go fuck with her, as big as her ass is.
–10th Ave & 28th St
Overheard by: julie
Frustrated tall boy: Does it look like I have an ass? No! It does not!
–Bard High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny Lawrence
Wednesdays Rogaine Their One-Liners
Loud girl to friend: Tell them you want fuckable hair! Fuckable hair!
–Astor Place
Overheard by: Bruce Lee
Girl to friend: You mean her boob-look hair puff?
–52nd St & 6th Ave
Ghetto woman to another: Why he be mooning everyone with that hairy ass?
–53rd & Lexington
Overheard by: tommy a
Man to friend: I'm Mexican, man; I was *born* with a mustache.
–Grand & Orchard
Girl, enunciatively: I support chest hair!
–Hell's Kitchen
Overheard by: DI