One postal agent to other, speaking of the UPS agent nearby: Tell him to pick up all the heavy boxes, especially for the walk-ups. –Bleecker street Overheard by: Disco Lama
Blowhard: America, like any country, is full of fucking idiots. I hate democracy because I hate these fucking people. Fuck democracy. I believe in fucking monarchy. –Belly Bar
Literary Agent: I’m full of shit. I can’t help it! –36th Street
Man Urinating Publicly: What do I care? I’m a convict! –Waverly Place Overheard by: Todd Seavey
Human Leech: Oh, what you have to do is calculate your monthly income–and make sure you include in that the amount of money that your parents give you every month. –Beacon’s Closet, Williamsburg
Woman: Usually when the bill is over $70 a person I steal something. –Bensonhurst
Man on cell: I’ve got an idea. How about you go fuck yourself?…Say what? You don’t think so?
Activist: Hey, fur bimbo! How’d you get the blood off your hands? –St. Mark’s Place
Fratboy #1: Can she bring some of her friends?
Fratboy #2: You don’t want to meet her friends.
Fratboy #1: Why?
Fratboy #2: I don’t know, they’re…
Fratboy #1: They’re fat, right?
Fratboy #2: Yeah. –1 Train Overheard by: Josh Caldwell
A driver almost runs over a kid.
Driver: Look at the light! Look at the light!
Kid: Look at the street!
Driver: Go back to Russia, you fuck! –Bensonhurst