Piss Off

Man Urinating Publicly: What do I care? I’m a convict! –Waverly Place Overheard by: Todd Seavey

Too Bad They Don’t Give You Poison, Too

Human Leech: Oh, what you have to do is calculate your monthly income–and make sure you include in that the amount of money that your parents give you every month. –Beacon’s Closet, Williamsburg

Classy Lady

Woman: Usually when the bill is over $70 a person I steal something. –Bensonhurst

Cell Phone Fun

Man on cell: I’ve got an idea. How about you go fuck yourself?…Say what? You don’t think so?

Overheard re: New Jersey

Schlub: …yeah, it’s the nicest place–
Loudmouth: Yeah, but it’s fuckin’ in New Jersey!
Schlub: Yeah…Jersey…fuckin’ Jersey. –Murray Hill deli Overheard by: Neelam S.

Readers: Suggest a Snappy Comeback

Male employee: Thank you, and have a nice day!
Female employee: It’s night time, you say have a good night. See the dark outside? –McDonald’s, Saint Mark’s Place

Trains and Trannies

Chick #1: What an asshole. Do I look like a transvestite?
Chick #2: No.
Chick #1: Sometimes when a woman is tall and she’s dressed like a woman, she really is a woman.
Chick #2: Unless you’re in Chelsea. –1 Train

Then You Should Stop Doing It…

Bully: What’s up? What’s up? What’s up? What’s up? What’s up? What’s up? Why are you jacking me?
Scared Russian teen: I don’t know what that means! –D Train

Readers: Answer This Overheard Question

Activist: Hey, fur bimbo! How’d you get the blood off your hands? –St. Mark’s Place

Most Polarizing Overheard Ever

Fratboy #1: Can she bring some of her friends?
Fratboy #2: You don’t want to meet her friends.
Fratboy #1: Why?
Fratboy #2: I don’t know, they’re…
Fratboy #1: They’re fat, right?
Fratboy #2: Yeah. –1 Train Overheard by: Josh Caldwell