Man Urinating Publicly: What do I care? I’m a convict! –Waverly Place Overheard by: Todd Seavey
Security guy: Ma’am, please step into the back of the store.
Chick: But why?
Security guy: Don’t make this harder on yourself.
Chick: But why?
Shopgirl: They do make it harder on themselves, don’t they?
Chick: Fuck you! –Sephora, Spring & Broadway
Fashionista gets off elevator, bumping into guys on her way out.
Balding Greek guy: You know what she needs? A good dick up the ass, that’s what she needs!
Black guy: That’s what all them bitches need.
Overheard by: Big Larry
Cabbie: Are you going this way? I’m not turning around!
Chick: What the..? I’m not hitchhiking, I’m fucking paying you, and if I tell you to turn around you damn well better turn around! He drives away. Chick: Yeah, fuck you too, cunty Mr. Crack Whore.
Hipster guy: Lady, you need therapy.
Chick: Man, you need to stop sucking dick. And a haircut. –34th & 7th Overheard by: Jesia Guera
Store lady: What is your name sir?
Man: Bill [N-y-b-a-k-k-e-n.]
Store lady: Well, who is William?
Man: Bill is short for William.
Store lady: Bill is short for William, sure…
Manager guy: Yes, yes it is.
Store lady: Have a nice day.
Man: Unfuckingbelievable! –Verizon, Wall Street
A blind woman and her dog are making their way into a Duane Reade through the “Out” door, with difficulty to keep the door open. Behind them is a WASP lady, waiting to get in.
Blind woman: Good, good, now make a hard left, to the counter, to the counter.
WASP lady: Idiots. –74th & 3rd
Woman on cell: I feel bad about ripping the kid off, but…
–Fort Greene Park
Overheard by: Zoe
Suit: Well, apparently I’m part psychic and part asshole.
Overheard by: quite the combo
Blue collar guy: I stopped giving to panhandlers 10 years ago. This guy hit me up every day at my stop and one day I gave him a sandwich and some cigarettes. I watched him and he threw the sandwich away. I went over to him and worked him over pretty bad. I dumped the trash can and took out the sandwich and then took the cigarettes away from him. Then I knocked him down again and took all the money out of his pockets. I was really mad when he threw that sandwich away. Now I never give anything to those guys.
–1 train, Houston St
Overheard by: Amused Minnesotan
Woman on cell: You see, this is why you just can’t be nice to people. I was nice to her once, once! And now she thinks we’re friends. Like I need this!
–Bus stop near Radio City Music Hall
Yuppie on cell: I don’t give a fuck about them. As long as I’m on their will, I don’t really give a shit.
–34th St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: Gunita
Girl: So my grandma died last week and it sucked so bad, I had to drive all the way to Hartford on Saturday and I totally missed the huge sale at H&M.
–Statue of Liberty
Overheard by: SuziQ
Girl: So I swept everything into a pile and I walked away for like, a second, and when I come back this little Mexican girl and her mom are seriously dancing in this pile of garbage and totally fucking up my sweeping. Why would anyone do that?!
Guy: Dude, they were Mexican. Garbage is like water to them.
Man #1: Look at that bum. It’s 2 in the afternoon, and he’s just sleeping in a doorway.
Man #2: He’s homeless. What the fuck else is he supposed to do? –Charlton & Hudson
JAP, reflecting: I think I might be a drug dealer.
JAP: Yeah! I went to Israel this summer! And they all looked at me like I was an idiot! They don’t have Uggs there… They don’t have burgers… They don’t have loosies!
Jappy teen: I’ve never done anything for society and I’ve done just fine.
–University & 12th
JAP: Bitch, "Jewish" is a religion!
–17th & 6th
NYU JAP: I told my dad that I couldn’t go to the scholarship fair because I had to get my nails done, and I think we’re still in a fight!
–Goddard Hall, NYU Dorm
Overheard by: Maya G.
Jappy girl to friend: [Sighs.] I’m losing faith in humanity, one orgasm at a time.
Overheard by: Ponine