Archive for the ‘Astoria’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Still Can’t Get Over Joey Picking Pacey (That Dumb Bitch)

Girl on cell: We got Chinese cable because it was cheaper than the cheap cable…Yeah, it’s all in Chinese…Whatever. As long as I watch things that I’ve already seen, I don’t need to actually know what they’re saying. –N train, Astoria Queer, on cell: Have you seen Victoria’s boyfriend lately? He looks great. She’s better than Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. –Eckerd, Astoria Mother, to kids: Sorry we just missed the fireworks, guys. It’s okay, though. I TiVoed it at home just in case. –79th St entrance, FDR Tourist, after eagerly struggling for camera air-time: You know what, Ma, I don’t think we’re gonna be able to watch this — it only airs today. –Taping of the Today Show, Rockefeller Center Overheard by: Stephen and Allison Girl: Well, today they had a woman who was born a man who married a man who was born a woman, so don’t shit on Maury Povich! –New York Public Library Overheard by: Actually READING at the Library Guy: Sweet Sixteen? That show makes me understand terrorism. –114th & Broadway

Wednesday One-Liner, Huh! What Is It Good For?

JAP on cell: If more people wore glitter there would no war. –Therapy Store Crazy old guy: I want a dog for president. You know why? Dogs don't start wars. –31St & Ditmars, Astoria Overheard by: Randi and Patrick (at an anti-war rally)
Street vendor: Say no to war, say yes to Louis Vuitton! –Midtown Overheard by: Oh the irony 50-something guy on cell: You see, we are a military agency, not a government agency. (pause) So when I punched out that Homeland Security guy, I punched out a civilian. –Union Square Park Overheard by: Ksenia Eight-year-old boy: I dare you to fight in the civil war! –7 Train

Wednesday One-Liners Crank the Woofers

Suit: So what you really need to do is put together a social networking site for dogs. –Barfly, 20th & 3rd Overheard by: Matthew K. Johnson Woman: I swear, my parents are only coming to visit so they can see my dog. Honest! –Searchlight, 11th & University Overheard by: MissPinkKate Conductor: Will the man with the small dog in the plastic bag please leave the train. That is not a safe way to be transporting a dog. Thank you. –Bay Head Train Guy riding past on a bike, yelling into his cell: Baby! If the dog is talking, that means one of two things… –24th Ave, Astoria Overheard by: sara n. Woman on cell: But it's not just any day of the year! It's Yom Kippur! (listens) Fuck you, Dave! Fuck you, and fuck your dog! –Prince St Overheard by: elle Woman in elevator on cell (coming from attorney's office): You won't believe what he did! First he staged photos of me in bed with a dog. Then I turn the page and it's me in bed with my next door neighbor! –Vesey St

Wednesday One-Liners Reach Maximum Occupancy

Professor: All the buildings in Florence are five stories high, because they were built before elevators, and that's how many stories you can walk up with groceries before you die. –Fordham University 20-something tourist girl to family, about subway: It's like an elevator, but opposite. –N Train Bimbette: I, like, ran into them in the elevator and they, like, literally gang-banged me. –Astoria 20-something woman: Do you think he ever found out I didn't fall down an elevator shaft? –F Train

That Must Be Canadia

Man: Honey, what’s her zip code?
Woman: Oh…um…it’s 1000007. –Astoria Overheard by: Alizzon Girl #1: We’re going to Montreal for the weekend.
Girl #2: I love Montreal! It’s so easy to get to, and so exotic…it’s
like going to a different country. –68th & Lexington