Archive for the ‘Astoria’ Category

Do Girls Ever Wednesday One-Liner?

Hobo to passer-by: Arrrr! I'm a fart knocker! –7th Ave & 25th St Bimbette: Wow! I ate olives today and I didn't fart! –L Train Girl to friend: She farts makeup! She's so glamorous! –Deli Overheard by: Straining to hear the rest of the conversation… 30-something tall woman to friend: I used to live in three houses. Now I live in a closet. It's so small that I have to hang my parakeet out the window just to take a fart! –Ave B & 3rd St Overheard by: Mike Older Greek lady to friend: I don't know Celia. I think it is better for everyone if I have gas. –Astoria Overheard by: David

Wednesday One-Liners for the Fine Young Cannibals

Hipster: Everyone I know is either married, divorced, gay or crazy. –37th St, Astoria Overheard by: Matthias Sundberg Karaoke panhandler singing Gnarls Barkley: "Does that make me craaaaazy? Maybe I'm craaaaaazy!" It's Memorial Day and I'm sitting here singing to people I never met before in my life. Mmmmmm…craaaazy! –Times Square Subway Station Black woman to janitor companion: I am so glad I live in the ghetto. These motherfuckers down here are crazy! (companion nods) And I live in the ghe-tto, 2 train ghetto. –22nd St & 5th Ave Hobo, watching man and woman having sex against a statue: I think I'm going to have to move to Europe or something. This place is getting too crazy. –Madison Square Park Overheard by: Westsider 30-something guy on cell: Well, that's what my crazy sister said about my more crazy sister. –Broadway & 114th St Overheard by: mary e. Little boy in abandoned shopping cart: I've gotta get off this crazy train! –Target, Atlantic Ave

How Much Is That Wednesday One-Liner in the Window?

50-something Long Island woman, showing pictures of her dog while talking non-stop about it: And this is Cici wearing a hat, she usually wears a hat when she goes out. And this is Cici, very drunk… –LIRR Overheard by: Adam Nathan Guy on cell walking a tiny poodle: Dude! The dog did it again. (pause) No, I swear, dude. The. Dog. Did. It. Again. (pause) Dude! This dog talks. Talks. –Broadway & 43rd St, Astoria (little girl finishes petting a stranger's dog)
Girl's mother: Now say "thank you" to its human. –Central Park Lawn Hyper tween schoolgirl: Hey mom, remember when we brought the dog to the mall and he peed in a coconut? –La Pallette, 12th St Guy to friend: I love her more than anything, but something about the way her puppy's paws smell really seal it. –Rosa's Pizza, Penn Station Overheard by: Craig

Hella Good Wednesday One-Liners

Twitchy dude to no one in particular: What? You selling something? What you selling? You all are devils! Devil worshipers! Bunch of devil worshipers! Devils, devils, devils! See you in hell! Oh…I won't be there, though. –C Train Hipster girl on cell: No, the black marks are from me cheating on you with Satan. (pause) Yeah, now I'm pregnant and he won't marry me. –23rd & 5th Overheard by: Louisa Young guy on cell, about video game: I gave them my soul. I gave them my soul! See, my soul legally belongs to you, so you tricked them. (pause) Give him his soul! Give him his soul! What? What? Too late! –93rd St, Bay Ridge Screaming man with ashes on forehead to man walking past on Ash Wednesday: You're going to hell you motherfucker! –Penn Station Overheard by: BK Woman on cell: Satan don't wear no panties, negro. That shit flies free. –Astoria, Queens Overheard by: Celia