Archive for the ‘Astronomy’ Category

Maybe Mom Got a Head Wound in Iraq, or Something

Little kid: Hey, mom, look! You can see the moon!
Ghetto mom: Shut up! You can't see no moon when the sun out. Sit down 'fore I bust yo little ass!
Little kid: But I can see the moon!
Nice older lady to kid: You're right, honey. You can see the moon when the sun is out. The moon is bright because of the sun.
Kid to mom: See, I told you I could see the moon?
Ghetto mom: That bitch lyin'! –A Train Overheard by: innocent mta customer

You Might As Well Be Walking on the Sun

Short thug: Nigga, stars come in all sizes. Just 'cause some are bigger don't mean they are closer.
Tall thug: Fuck it, they don't! The sun's the biggest star because that motherfucker's the closest. (other thugs murmur in agreement)
Short thug: What about the moon, then? It looks bigger than any of them bitches.
Tall thug: Because it's closer! Damn!
Short thug: But it ain't bigger than a motherfucking star!
Random thug: Ain't nobody know how big a star is, man.
Short thug, exasperated: How many of you niggas smoking your own shit? (they fall silent) Goddamn! Well, that explains a whole fucking lot! –St. John's & Underhill

Wednesday One-Liners: a Space Odyssey

30-something suit on cell: We live in an infinite universe. That means there are infinite possibilities. You are insignificant compared to the size of the universe. You mean absolutely fuck-all nothing, so get off your high horse and do what you're told. –40th St & Madison Ave Overheard by: Megan Guy on cell: Dude, so how much more time do you have in Russia before you go into space? –Ave A & 8th St Overheard by: Daniella Guy on cell: The subways are like the planets. Generally they're in their orbit, but you never know. (pause) Really? C'mon, Mars! –Uptown C Train Overheard by: furf Three-year-old boy to adult family friend: I love you to outter space! Outter space goes upupupupup! –West Village Crazy man straddling bike: Goddamn! I can't believe I missed the last rocket ship to the moon! (in high-pitch voice) It's okay, man! There's another one in five minutes!
(back in normal voice) Okay, man, that's cool. Roger that. –1st Ave & 1 St Sales associate: They worked with NASA scientists. This is what the moon actually smells like. –Home Fragrance Department, Bergdorf Goodman Overheard by: Heather H.