Woman #1: I see stars.
Woman #2: Oh.
Woman #1, sadly: And you know what… I don't want to see stars anymore.
–13th St & 3rd Ave
Archive for the ‘Astronomy’ Category
Back to Your Little Lukewarm Island– Back, I Say!
British chick: Why did the sun have to set?
British guy: It has something to do with the movement of the earth.
British chick: Buy whyyyyyyyyy? It's colllldddd.
–Columbus Circle
Unless Your Eyes Are Closed When You’re Looking at It
Redhead: So, what’s your favorite planet?
Blonde: Mercury.
Redhead: Oh, come on. Mercury is the sun’s little bitch.
Blonde: Well then, what’s the moon?
Redhead: Y’know, if you look at the sun, it can get bright sometimes.
–Elevator, Hotel Edison
Wednesday One-Liners Are No Longer Considered a Planet
Girl, to boyfriend: And that’s why you can never trust the emotions or actions of someone whose star sign is ruled by mars.
–20th & 7th
Overheard by: ALR
Barista to waiter: I don’t mind that I spent $130 on a pair of Oakleys cause I can look at the sun for a while and it won’t hurt my eyes.
–Long Island Railroad
Overheard by: Chris K.
Baby boomer hippie to college student: Dude, I just got me some of that Afghani shit. Took me to the mooooooon and back, baby!
–Washington Square
Overheard by: Summer
Doonesbury looking dude: Imagine what life would be like without the sun.
–40th & Park Ave
Overheard by: Ledbetter
Girl, being shaken awake by friend: But Rachel, where are you going to put the black hole?
–A Train
Bum on street, to several protesters passing by in pure white bio-hazard suits: Aw… You people wait right there, I’m a run and get some cigarettes then I’m comin’ to the moon with ya’ll. Seriously… Wait.
–45 & 7th Ave
Overheard by: Comack
This Is the Dawning of the Age of Wednesday One-Liners
Teen girl on cell: He started laughing and calling me a moron when we were drunk and I asked him if the sun and the moon were the same thing, and I told him, ‘If you had my brain, you’d understand what I meant!’
–Penn Station
Redhead: He and I are like twin stars that will never have sex.
–Starbucks, 95th & Broadway
Overheard by: ein ladle
Bimbette: Does the U.S. own the moon?
–Astronomy 101, Borough of Manhattan Community College
Dork to gaggle of girls: A half moon is fuckin’ half as full as a full moon, ya heard?!
–East Village
Overheard by: Verbena
Everything I Need to Know About Cosmology I Learned in Four Years of Ninth Grade
Teen girl: Is the universe, like, the whole world or just the United States?
Guy: Dude, it’s, like, everything in existence.
Ghetto guy: Nuh-uh! It’s just like a group. Our universe is the Milky Way.
Guy: You’re an idiot. It includes the Milky Way, but that’s not what it is.
Ghetto guy: I went to four years of high school. I think I would know.
–M96 bus
Overheard by: Treesha
Maybe After Eight or Nine Stellas
Skinny JAP: Omgosh! Let’s go watch the World Cup! Like, we’ll see witchcraft…magic…stuff.
Fat JAP: Oh yeah, totally. That stuff from Harry Potter.
–Greenwich & North Moore
Overheard by: Alyson Leigh