Archive for the ‘Astronomy’ Category

Normal for an American, or What?

20-something skinny hipster girl: I'm in an eating phase. It started on Tuesday, and it'll go until Friday, if I've calculated my lunar cycle correctly.
20-something skinny hipster boy: Yeah, me too… I hadn't eaten for weeks, so I'll probably go til Saturday or Sunday.
20-something skinny hipster girl: What about you?
20-something chubby stoned hipster girl: I don't know what the fuck you guys are talking about. I eat like a normal person. –Upper East Side Overheard by: emily darwin

Wednesday One-Liners Are No Longer Considered a Planet

Girl, to boyfriend: And that’s why you can never trust the emotions or actions of someone whose star sign is ruled by mars. –20th & 7th Overheard by: ALR Barista to waiter: I don’t mind that I spent $130 on a pair of Oakleys cause I can look at the sun for a while and it won’t hurt my eyes. –Long Island Railroad Overheard by: Chris K. Baby boomer hippie to college student: Dude, I just got me some of that Afghani shit. Took me to the mooooooon and back, baby! –Washington Square Overheard by: Summer Doonesbury looking dude: Imagine what life would be like without the sun. –40th & Park Ave Overheard by: Ledbetter Girl, being shaken awake by friend: But Rachel, where are you going to put the black hole? –A Train Bum on street, to several protesters passing by in pure white bio-hazard suits: Aw… You people wait right there, I’m a run and get some cigarettes then I’m comin’ to the moon with ya’ll. Seriously… Wait. –45 & 7th Ave Overheard by: Comack

This Is the Dawning of the Age of Wednesday One-Liners

Teen girl on cell: He started laughing and calling me a moron when we were drunk and I asked him if the sun and the moon were the same thing, and I told him, ‘If you had my brain, you’d understand what I meant!’ –Penn Station Redhead: He and I are like twin stars that will never have sex. –Starbucks, 95th & Broadway Overheard by: ein ladle Bimbette: Does the U.S. own the moon? –Astronomy 101, Borough of Manhattan Community College Dork to gaggle of girls: A half moon is fuckin’ half as full as a full moon, ya heard?! –East Village Overheard by: Verbena

Everything I Need to Know About Cosmology I Learned in Four Years of Ninth Grade

Teen girl: Is the universe, like, the whole world or just the United States?
Guy: Dude, it’s, like, everything in existence.
Ghetto guy: Nuh-uh! It’s just like a group. Our universe is the Milky Way.
Guy: You’re an idiot. It includes the Milky Way, but that’s not what it is.
Ghetto guy: I went to four years of high school. I think I would know. –M96 bus Overheard by: Treesha