Black security guard: Hello, and welcome to Urban Outfitters. Break it down, break it down, break it down, break it down, break it down…
–Urban Outfitters, 6th Ave
Security guy to woman whose bag is in the machine: Lady, there is something Batman-shaped in your bag. Do you have Batman in your bag? Are you aware that you are not allowed to take American heroes out of the country?
Overheard by: Susan
Big security guard: Put your IDs in the air! … And wave ‘em around like you just don’t care!
–NYU SIlver Building
Security guard, into walkie talkie: Ice, get your balls out of your wife’s purse, and kick that guy out!
–Music Hall of Williamsburg, Jonathan Richman concert
Overheard by: j-bones