Archive for the ‘B-List’ Category

Cue the Least Romantic Song Ever

Thug #1: Kelly Bundy’s dancing on Broadway.
Thug #2: She naked?
Thug #1: She broke both her legs. I think she in a wheelchair.
Thug #2: She naked?
Thug #1: I bet she dance good. She hot.
Thug #2: I’d break her clit if I had the chance. –F train Girl: If I hear another show tune out of context I think I’m going to vomit. Physically vomit. You know that feeling?
Guy: Uh, no. –42nd between 9th & 10th

Can I Have Your Autograph, Wednesday One-liners?

Old Jewess: That Suzanne Somers has some nerve. She is writing another diet book. I have a friend who has read all her diet books and every year she gets fatter and fatter. –Music Box theatre, West 45th Street Fratboy: She was like an ugly Paris Hilton, but not rich. –C train Overheard by: nicolette Guy: I’m gonna beat you like an Olsen twin. –68th & Columbus Overheard by: Andrew Zar Teen boy: Yo, I heard that Tupac was named after a Jewish holiday. –Red Hook Guy: Yeah, you know, that’s the great thing about the Kennedys: they get $1 off of every bottle of Scotch that they buy. You know, because their dad was a bootlegger and all. –52 & Lexington