Archive for the ‘B-List’ Category

Kind of Your Job, Stephen. Ours, Too.

Stephen Colbert: Coxsackie. It’s something that kids get when they eat their poop, or even worse, someone else’s poop. It’s highly contagious. For instance, in those playpens, with the plastic balls? Sometimes they lick the balls, and they get coxsackie…God, that sounded so wrong. –The Colbert Report studio, 54th & 10th Overheard by: future gyno

Can I Have Your Autograph, Wednesday One-liners?

Old Jewess: That Suzanne Somers has some nerve. She is writing another diet book. I have a friend who has read all her diet books and every year she gets fatter and fatter. –Music Box theatre, West 45th Street Fratboy: She was like an ugly Paris Hilton, but not rich. –C train Overheard by: nicolette Guy: I’m gonna beat you like an Olsen twin. –68th & Columbus Overheard by: Andrew Zar Teen boy: Yo, I heard that Tupac was named after a Jewish holiday. –Red Hook Guy: Yeah, you know, that’s the great thing about the Kennedys: they get $1 off of every bottle of Scotch that they buy. You know, because their dad was a bootlegger and all. –52 & Lexington