Archive for the ‘Baby Mama/Daddy’ Category

Wednesday Onesie Liners

Woman on cell, loudly: No, no, my baby's getting fixed that day! –5th Ave Yuppie thug in three-piece suit, loudly on cell while riding escalator: So you sayin' it's mines? How you know it's mines? Naw naw, how you know? Bitch, kiss my ass! If they ain't been no muh-fuckin DNA test, then they ain't been no baby sprung up outta my dick! I ain't no adoption agency! –Borders, Penn Station Overheard by: IJustWanttoBrowseMadonna'sBrother'sTell-AllinPeace 20-something male on cell: What did I tell you about having sex with people who have babymama problems? That's why I gave up my crush on Bristol Palin. –110th & Broadway Overheard by: Topical Black lady with stroller: Ohhh, no. All y'all are not fitting into this car. Stop pushin' up on my baby. Y'all need to back that shit up now. (baby starts crying) What do you want? What do you want? Are you having hot flashes? Cause I know I am. Jesus! –Downtown 6 Train Overheard by: Alie Black woman: Of all his babymamas, why he alway bothering her? He has all these babymamas and he's always bugging her. She must still be puttin' out. –34th & Broadway Very young pregnant woman purchasing cigarettes on: What the hell kind of difference does what you eat have on what kind of baby you have? –Nostrand & Dean, Crown Heights Overheard by: Siobhan

Wednesday One-Liners Click “It’s Complicated”

Chick: It’s about your cyber personality, and if your cyber personality doesn’t want to be in a relationship with me on Facebook, that’s okay! –NYU Hayden Staircase Coed: I don’t know… if Sheryl* with the two kids by the two different baby-daddies can have a good MySpace, I think pretty much anyone should be able to do it. –Hunter College Overheard by: ImmaculatePizza Hipster girl: It looks like MySpace exploded in there! –The Knitting Factory, 74 Leonard St Overheard by: Cassie 20-something girl: So, the quadriplegic I hooked up with added me as a friend on Facebook last night. –Chipotle, 51st & 8th Geek prophet: No one is ever away from Google, really. –Near Holland Tunnel Overheard by: Claire H. Angry chick, to boyfriend: Look, I’m not changing my Facebook status! –6th & Ave A Overheard by: Kremilyse 30-ish woman: I said I wouldn’t date him ’til he gets rid of the typos on his MySpace profile… Am I a snob? –Tom’s Diner, Morningside Heights Overheard by: ball-and-veining tool