Black guy with bags, bumping into Hispanic woman: Don't gimme that look, not my fault, not my fuckin' fault! (Hispanic woman just glares) Look at me again and I'll fuck you in the ass! –53rd St & 5th Ave
Queer: So, I went to that new dance club last night.
Fag hag: Oh, really? Any good?
Queer: Yeah… They were playing some weird disco music, which should’ve tipped me off. But anyway, this guy started hitting on me right away.
Fag hag: Oooh! Was he hot?
Queer: Sorta. I mean, he had this gigantic moustache.
Fag hag: Hmmm. He musta been a terrorist.
Queer: Actually, he did have that terror-esque gleam in his eye.
Fag hag: So, did you hook up or what?
Queer: Oh, yeah, totally fucked him in the bathroom. That terror-esque gleam is damn sexy. –Lincoln Center Overheard by: MiMi
Hipster boy: So, that’s mine. What’s yours?
Hipster girl: Mine’s anal.
Hipster boy: Um, anal’s not really a position. It’s more of an opening. –6 train Overheard by: LBs
Asian girl: She said she let him do her in the butt for drugs!
Asian guy: That’s weird because she’s so conservative. –E 9th St
Blonde: Sean, Em just told us something very interesting about herself!
Queer: What? Oh my god! Did you finally have butt sex? I knew it! You let him stick it in your butt. –Outside the W, Union Square Overheard by: she had a nice butt…
Guy: So did you ever hear back from that guy who stood you up last week?
Girl: Yeah, actually he got stuck with his kids.
Guy: Kids? He's married?
Girl: Divorced, actually.
Guy: Wow, what a looser…I bet he has herpes.
Girl: Yeah, maybe. Maybe he really stood me up because he was fucking you in the ass and got herpes. –Figarro's Restaurant
Thug #1: And when he walks down the stairs, he's all… (makes obscure hand gesture)
Thug #2: It's on him, though.
Thug #1: Oh, yeah.
Thug #2: I mean, my sister. She's…you know.
Thug #1: I thought it was going to be embarrassing, you know? But it's cool. You talk to the nigga, he's just hilarious, it's all funny, whatever he says.
Thug #3: Yeah, it's cool. Nigga's just totally flaming gay.
Thug #2: His choice, it's on him.
Thug #1: Yeah, man. Whatever you wanna put up your ass, you know, it's cool. –1 Train Overheard by: Rose Fox
Old lady #1: I hate the back door.
Old lady #2: Me, too. –Bronx Zoo
Drunk girl: You’ve seen anal sex a million times in porn, but have you ever once seen shit on the guy’s dick? Or on the sheets?
Guy: Maybe they give the girls enemas first.
Drunk girl, draining glass: Well, they must give ’em something, because in real life ass-fucking is a shitty business. –Tony Awards after-party, Rockefeller Center Overheard by: Big Larry
Blonde girl: I can't believe he pulled his dick out. Except not really. Except kind of. Except I kind of had to put it back in. –W 34th & 8th Ave Overheard by: innocent bystander Crazy hobo, to himself: Geritol. Yup, that's what she needs. That woman just likes some dick. And there ain't nothin wrong with that. Nothin wrong with a woman likin a long hard dick. Women like dick. Ain't nothing wrong with that. She's gonna get some Geritol all right. Cause see, you got to get it up in the crevices. Work it in with a little Bengay. –Men's Bathroom, Penn Station Overheard by: Phil Salvadoran guy, discussing use of the word "faggot": They can take a dick up their ass, they can take a fucking joke. –Lawton St, Brooklyn Overheard by: Eric Frazier Black guy: Man, I can't wear tight pants because I have a big dick! My dick needs to breathe! (holds himself) –Penn Station Female Central Park crossing guard: Das cuz da dick was great! –Columbus Circle Overheard by: Robert H