Girl #1: My friend Chandra thinks she’s still a virgin because she’s only had anal sex.
Girl #2: How do you know this girl?
Girl #1: She goes to my church.
–New York Public Library, 40th & 5th
Overheard by: Renee Rogers
Archive for the ‘Backdoor’ Category
Is There a Right Answer to This?
Gay man: Have you ever smelled your ass, after you buttfuck? –18th & 6th Overheard by: Dana
That's Your Answer to Everything, Maria.
Crazy hobo: Marriage is for having children, and gay people never have children! Marriage is for sex, and gay people never have sex!
Latina: He needs to get fucked up the ass.
–7 Train
Overheard by: Ari
If I Recall Correctly, You Paid That Debt.
Ratty old white man: I don't owe you nothin'.
Dirty old black woman: You owe me a solid two hundred.
Ratty old white man: A solid dick in the ass, maybe.
–Central Park
Overheard by: DKF
Wednesday One-Liners Find It Difficult to Sit Down
NYPD emergency service cop to man carrying very large hamster in a cage: Whoa, did you pull that out of someone's butt?
–50th St & 10th Ave
Overheard by: Well we're in the neighborhood for it…
30-something to friend: She has everything up her ass but a cock.
–Broadway and Waverly
Tall man to short lady behind her wearing backpack: If you shove that bag any further up my ass, it'll be coming out my mouth!
–Downtown 5 Train
Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer
20-something boyfriend to girlfriend: First I let you put a dildo up my ass, and then you call me a faggot!
–2nd Ave & St. Mark's
Overheard by: Joe
Gay man: Oh. My. God. What kind of friend puts eels up your ass?
–52nd St & 9th Ave
Now We're Feeling It.
Girlfriend: You said you had never had anal sex before!
Boyfriend: I hadn't. It doesn't count if it goes all the way in.
Girlfriend: It totally counts. I don't even want to think of it going all the way in.
Boyfriend: I didn't even feel it!
Girlfriend: I still feel it!
–Astor Place
Wednesday One-Liners Treat Women and Men the Same
Film student: There's subtext to butt-sex?
–School of Visual Arts
Girl, to guy: Was your dick *in* my ass? Did we just do anal?
–Lower East Side
College girl: And my butthole is probably a lot tighter than hers.
–LIRR
Middle aged suit: I think I'd really enjoy anal because I always take such big craps.
–Union Square
Overheard by: alib
Woman to friend: Did you know the latest teenage fad is butt sex?
–177th St & Broadway
…Why're People Staring at Us?
Youngblood thug #1: Yo, I just came from the doctor and my shit was just violated.
Youngblood thug #2: Nigga, what you talkn' bout?
Youngblood thug #1: He just grabbed my shit and told me to cough.
Youngblood thug #2: Yo dick?
Youngblood thug #1: Yeah, nigga!
Youngblood thug #2: Get the fuck outta here.
Youngblood thug #1, depressingly: Yeah, nigga.
Middle aged thug: That shit ain't nothing. I had a colonoscopy or whatever the fuck it's called.
Youngblood thug #1: What the fuck is that?
Middle aged thug: I don't know, but the nigga went up my ass.
Youngblood thug #1 and #2: What the fuck?
Middle aged thug: Nah, but I'm not gonna front, though that shit tickled at first.
–Atlantic Ave, Brooklyn
Let Me Guess– You Don't Understand It?
Doofy man: My stripper friend has a tattoo on her back.
Woman: Oh, really..?
Doofy man: Yeah, and she said you can only understand it if you do me from the back. (laughs)
–Inwood Dog Park
Overheard by: infinite
Crazy Hobo Says What We're All Thinking
Street preacher: You need the blood! The blood of Jesus!
Crazy hobo: You need a good butt fucking! Right in the mouth!
–Union Square