Archive for the ‘Backdoor’ Category

I'm Just Burning and Throbbing for a Job

Boyfriend: I would do just about anything for a job right now, maybe even take it in the ass.
Friend: Ew! Why would you want to do that? It burns and throbs for like a week after.
(long awkward pause)
Friend: Uh-oh. (blushes, runs away)
Boyfriend, yelling over crowd: Oh, great… You set me back months with my girlfriend.
Girlfriend: You're such an asshole! –Brooklyn Overheard by: nick

Deleted Scene from Mission: Impossible III

Hot Asian chick: Yeah, so I kept asking my boyfriend about how he had his ex finger his ass, and he got so pissy at me.
Gay black dude: Hmmph. He probably doesn’t want to admit he wants it up the booty all the time.
Hot Asian chick: He said he pretended that he liked it when she she’d butt play him. I don’t buy that shit.
Gay black dude: Honey, real men don’t pretend. Run! –Houston & Broadway Overheard by: henry

Wednesday One-Liners for Chuck Bass

Gay guy to passersby: Spare an asshole for a gay man? –Union Square Man to woman: It's not that I'm an asshole; I just don't want to be seen with you. –Bar, Upper West Side Overheard by: Eric Hipster chic: You could fit a globe in your asshole, it's so big. –Bedford Ave & 3rd St, Williamsburg Overheard by: letthemusicplayy Woman, answering cell: Hey, asshole! –Rite Aid, Grand Central

Wednesday One-Liners Hope for Conjugal Visits

Trench coat guy on cell: Are they arresting you? –72nd & West End Overheard by: orlum Woman rushing inside: Oh my god! I was almost an eyewitness to something! –Viacom building, 44th & Broadway Overheard by: bonster Man on cell: I’m sorry to bother you, but I really don’t wanna go to jail… –S 2nd & Bedford Ave Overheard by: Are All Criminals So Polite? Guy: That’s so true! He’ll willingly go to jail just for the free sex! –Union Square Park Chick toting a baby: Yeah, but I ain’t qualify fo’ that ’cause of all them felonies I got. –Ridgewood, Queens Overheard by: Grytsayo