Archive for the ‘Backdoor’ Category

Bootylicious Wednesday One-Liners

Gay guy on cell: And they had the guy with the biggest butt stand next to the guy with the second-biggest butt! Seriously, what is wrong with them? –6th Ave & 12th Woman getting on a crowded train, looking for a seat: See, I told you there would be a lot of behinds on this train! –N Train Overheard by: Some behind lucky enough to find a seat. Thug to another: After I wipe his ass, I'm gonna beat his ass! –86th & Park Ave Woman on cell: So, what are you going to tell him? "Sorry, I can't marry you–your ass is broken"? –1st & 23 Teen to friend: Why didn't he use a tennis racket? It would have left that waffle fry look on your ass. –Bus to Penn Station Skipping tween girl to metrosexual father: I've seen your butt, you know! –72nd & Lexington Ave Overheard by: Shannon

Wednesday One-Liners Have the Rainbow Connection

Gay man: Now that everything is lesbian, bi and transgender, I don't know if I can lead the committee anymore, 'cause I've got my gay male privilege. –W 13th St Man with clipboard: Do you have a moment for gay rights? (silence) C'mon, help support the people that made your clothes! –10th St & 5th Ave Overheard by: You mean 10-year olds in Honduras? Thug teenage dad, about baby staring at effeminate Asian man: Oh shit, she's already got her gaydar on. –4 Train Chick to friends: I would be like the sluttiest gay guy and it would be totally awesome. –Christopher St Man: …and you know there are a ton of gays who have no problem taking it straight up the ass. –Times Square 11-year-old thuggish boy: No homo, but he looks better than his sister. –Bronx Playground Black guy: I'm gay! I'm proud! I'm in the front seat! I'm gay! I'm proud! I'm in the front seat! I love guys! –Union St & 8th Ave, Brooklyn

Shit Stuck in the Ass is Called Digestion

Chick #1: I felt a pop so I looked back and the string had broke.
Chick #2: How will you get it out then?
Chick #1: I don’t know. Bend over and stick a tweezer up there? Imagine if I can’t get it out and I have to go to the hospital, they’ll lock me up!
Chick #2: Nah, people get weirder stuff than that stuck up their ass all the time, like animals and shit. –Bx34 bus Overheard by: LLMT

The Books Are Over, Wednesday One-Liner, Deal With It.

Grad student: It’s like Hogwarts. Witches go to Hogwarts. They don’t go to Harvard Witch Management. –Think Coffee, Mercer & W 4th Overheard by: this analogy makes no sense German dude to other German dude, in rapid German: Voldemort! And Dumbledore! –96th & Broadway Overheard by: LeLeLe Teen girl: He said that Dumbledore takes it up the ass. Seriously. –1 train Overheard by: Silverhawk High school thug girl: Yo dead ass, Harry Potter is hot. –Houston & Green Overheard by: chedr Perverted tween: I wonder how many old women are into Dumbledore. They must be like "oooooohh! Dumbledooooooore!" –D train Overheard by: tanechka Drunk 20-something woman on cell: I’ve fallen off the Voldemort wagon! –Port Authority Overheard by: McFreaky

Wednesday One-liners Spell It “Aminals”