Archive for the ‘Bag ladies’ Category

The Bic Commercial That Was Too Edgy, Even for Europe

Baby-voiced bag lady to pretty girl across from her: Excuse me, miss, do you have a pen?
Girl: No. I'm sorry, I don't.
Baby-voiced bag lady : A pen! A pen!
(pretty girl shakes head)
Baby-voiced bag lady
: A pencil?

Girl: I'm sorry, no.
(baby-voiced bag lady pulls Bic pen crack pipe out of bag and lights it. Train car quickly empties)

–C Train

Overheard by: sarette

Wednesday One-Liners Get “The Girlfriend Experience”

Disheveled gentleman: Hey, man, can you spare some change? I need a bottle of vodka, a bag of marijuana, and a prostitute. I'm desperate!

–East Village

Overheard by: Matty Mac

Toothless lady on street corner to friend: I ain't never been to jail, I ain't never fucked nobody for money!

–Brooklyn

Older Guido to young hipster: And then you got a fuckin' hooker on your hand, what are you going to to do?

–Mulberry

Overheard by: nina

Clean-cut queer: So she says "where are you going after this?" and I say "I think I'm just going to go back to the hotel and get some sleep" and she says "do you want company?" and I say "well, you're not really my type" and she says "I've got lots of friends… What's your type?" and I say "boys." And she's all, "oh, well, that's nice!" And then she leaves pretty quickly. And my friend says "who was that? Do you know her?" and I say, "no, she's just some very, very, very friendly girl. In a gold lamé cocktail dress. On a Tuesday night."

–6 Train

Overheard by: Rose Fox

Guy on cell: I wish I was in Florida–the hookers down there owe me 8 bucks and a beer!

–Astoria

McSteamy Wednesday One-Liners

Girl on phone: I gotta go to another guy because the last guy was like, "have you been sleeping with any Asian investment bankers?" and I was like, "no," and he's like, "well, then you don't have syphilis." And I'm like, "you're not a very good doctor!"

–Greenpoint

Girl on train: You should really meet this guy. He's like half witchdoctor and half… I don't know… Physical therapist.

–LIRR

Overheard by: The WC

Bag lady, yelling: What is my vital sign, asshole? Systolic… Diastolic… The fuck does that mean, Mr. Doctorman?

–6 Train

Overheard by: pretending not to have been pre-med in college

Suit on cell: What do you mean I'm being ridiculous? He's a foot doctor… He's not licensed to give rectal exams, Floyd!

–Q Train

Overheard by: EKavet