Conductor in thick Indian accent: Everybody's stressed out on their way to work, but remember you only came on the train with two hands! If you feel a third hand on you, feel free to do whatever you want with it!
–Uptown A Train
Overheard by: megan rose
Young woman on cell: Daddy? Mommy said you called. Is it about your testicles?
–78th & Lexington
Overheard by: Bob
Man on cell: I just saw this human female walk by with these legs…
Overheard by: Another human female
Passing female coworker: Stick my finger up to the middle knuckle to make sure it's warm.
Dorky guy to friends: So then she gets on the table and the next thing you know, one leg is over her head and I just didn't know what to do with myself…
–3rd & 23rd
Overheard by: tila
Jersey lady: Now I have to straddle him, hold on to his ears, and do it.
–Metro North Train
Overheard by: Wow. Just… wow.