Archive for the ‘Baristas’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Are a Bit Fruity

Young barista to another, peeling a banana: You like your women like you like your bananas. –Bedford Ave Man outside fry place: They don't sell watermelon here. I read the menu three times, and no watermelon. –Pomme Frites, 2nd Ave Dude on cell: Banana. Banana banana banana banana. Banana. –Flatbush Avenue, Brooklyn Overheard by: Sarah Booz 30-something suit to another: If I'm hungry I'll eat a banana, but I can't eat more than one. Because bananas, like, annoy me. –Metro-North Harlem Line Employee: All natural mango juice, on sale for 66… no, 69 cents off the regular price.
(customer walks away, uninterested) Where do you think you're going? –Whole Foods Overheard by: Sac

Wednesday One-Liners Kill You With Your Own Collarbone

Drunk to Asian guy: Tell me, why is it that when Asians get in street fights, they never use their martial arts? –1 Train Overheard by: Fonvielle Waiter: Please let me know if you have any food allergies. We ninjas don't like to kill by accident; we only kill on purpose. –Ninja Japanese Restaurant Little boy to grandfather: Hey grandpa, are you a black belt or any kind of ninja? –Cobble Hill, Brooklyn Overheard by: Jess Health care worker: I'ma kill that ninja! –Brooklyn Health Center

Anxiety I Like to Relieve by Peeing in Coffee Cups

Barista girl: Ohmigod, I love your shoes! I want them.
Register girl: Thanks.
Barista girl: I love them! Awww.
Register girl, embarrassed: Thanks, haha.
Barista girl: I love them, but I can never get them… Because I can't wear black with brown.
Register girl, borderline offended: Why not?
Barista girl: It gives me anxiety, that's why. –Starbucks