Archive for the ‘Bartenders’ Category

That Dead Fly on the Rim Is Almost Like a Little Umbrella

Well-dressed bridge & tunnel young girl: I'll have a cosmopolitan.
Bartender: We don't serve cosmos here.
Well-dressed bridge & tunnel young girl: Fine, I'll have a gin and tonic.
Bartender: We've got two types of beer. Light and dark.
(woman pauses in thought)
Bartender
: Here, honey. Try the light. It's kind of like a cosmo.


–McSorley's, Bowery & 7th

Adam Smith's “Invisible Hand” at Work

Old grimy man to cute young bartender: Will you marry me?
Bartender: No!
Old man: I'll pay you.
Bartender: How much?
Old man: $30,000.
Bartender: Ummm… No, I would need at least 3 million.
Old man (shaking his head and talking to himself): I don't get it. It's just not fair. $30,000 is a lot of money.

–Cobblestones Pub

Overheard by: kapnasty

Headline by: hearer

Runners-Up:
· “From the Pilot for “X-Rated Price Is Right”” – BobBugger

· “Just Go Home, Mr. Hefner.” – playgeezer
· “The Market Ain’t What It Used to Be” – Rob
· “Well If You Won’t Marry Me, Will You at Least Be My Running Mate?” – Michelle
· “When Did Heather Mills Start Bartending?” – Paul Ferris


Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Well, Sometimes We Toast Them.

Waiter from Minnesota: Yeah, check it out! Minnesota is the 2nd healthiest-eating state!
Bartender from Brooklyn: What do you eat in Minnesota?
Waiter: Well, there are a lot of Scandinavians there so we eat like, you know, sandwiches.
Bartender: (silence)
Waiter: What?
Bartender: You’re actually serious, aren’t you?

–Greenwich Ave & 7th Ave

Overheard by: TrigStarr