Archive for the ‘Battery Park’ Category

There's No Wednesday One-Liners Like Show Wednesday One-Liners

Festering pedestrian: Well, he didn't mention my name at the Tonys, and for that I'll never forgive him.

–43rd St & 10th Ave

Overheard by: Ryan

Producer of an unsuccessful off-Broadway play: That's what this show makes me do. Everyday I get here and just squeeze my neck just like this, I just squeeze it. I don't do this anywhere else.


–Chelsea Theater


Overheard by: Kyle

Audience member to friend: Of course it sucks. It's Shakespeare.

Macbeth Performance, Battery Park

Hipster guy: I think this play is by the same guy who wrote Ten Things I Hate about You

–NYCL Production of Shakespeare's Cymbeline, Central Park

Overheard by: digamma

Hipster girl: Last time I was in the third row, but I think I like these better. At least I won't get my head humped tonight.

Hair Performance, Delacorte Theatre

Teenybopper at intermission: Joe Jonas would make such an incredible bodega guy!

–Richard Rodgers Theatre

200 Wednesday One-Liners, and There's Nothing to Watch.

Professor: Do you guys watch American Idol? It's painful.

–Lehman College

Film student #1: It's kind of like Cloverfield meets The L Word.

–Waverly Place & Broadway

Valley girl wearing UGGs, pointing to Guggenheim: Oh! I think this is the building where Blair and Serena live!

–Outside of Guggenheim

Really effeminate 40-something man: I always pick up when he calls, and he was so mad I didn't this time… but I couldn't, because I was still in mourning over American Idol!

–114th & Broadway

Overheard by: Melissa

Queer to female friend: I was watchin' Oprah the other day. Oprah is legit! She had Christina Applegate on. You know, that girl from Married with Children and she was talkin' 'bout her breasts. She got breast cancer and they took both of them off! She had on of them lumpectomies.

–J Train

Guy: That's the new American dream–fuck up your life so much that you get your own tv show.

–Fundraising Walk, Battery Park

Overheard by: Harriet Vane

It’s All Fun and Games Until Someone Wednesday One-Liners

Girl to friend: So last night I hit myself in the eye with my broom while baking lasagna, drunk.

–Blarney Stone Pub

Suit on cell: Oh man, you should definitely ice and elevate that shit.

–AMC Lowes, 68th & Broadway

Overheard by: Jessica Segal

Man in wheelchair to woman pushing him: Remember when I hit that stroller head on and the kid passed out?

–33rd b/w 7th & 8th

Conductor on speaker: Please bring the first aid kit to car three, please bring the first aid kit to car three, a passenger has a bite.

–Train Leaving Penn Station

Teen to friend: And that’s how I got my penis stuck in a pencil sharpener.

–Stuyvesant High School

Wednesday Puts on Its One-Liners One Leg at a Time

Ghetto dude on phone: Do you know what I could do with that money? I could get a new pair of pants… or maybe get my hair done.

–Broadway & 86th St

Girl to another: I had this teacher in high school who wore the tightest pants. Camel toe all the time.

–Union Square

Overheard by: Giancarlo

Annoying sober 20-something, returning from bathroom: God! I'm so sweaty, it made it really hard to pull my pants down.

–Diner, 3rd Ave

Teenage girl to another: He came here to do a concert. He probably doesn't want to hear you scream, "Take your pants off!"

–Battery Park

Wednesday “It”-Liners

Guy: She *is* stupid. But in this unbelievably sexy way, so you don't even care.

–10th St & 3rd Ave

16-year-old black girl, about Shia LaBeouf: He's the sexiest white boy. I'm gonna rape his ass.

–Battery Park

Teen girl on cell: I would never have sexy mushrooms in front of my mom.

–Time Warner Center

Overheard by: Scott

20-something girl on cell: Nah, I won't play second bitch! She's just mad because I always look nice and keep my sexy up.

–Park Slope