Archive for the ‘Battery Park’ Category

“I'm Having a Wednesday One-Liner– And It's Yours!”

Man in floor-length green dress to passersby: How do you know if you're having a baby? It's by the way you lift your legs! –8th & 34th Guy to girlfriend: Just make sure you tell me if you're on antibiotics. I already got like three babies that way. –Battery Park Overheard by: It's how I got mine Large black man: She was poppin' those babies out like an Easy-Bake Oven! –Coney Island Broadwalk Hobo woman yelling at random pregnant woman: I told you be careful with that belly! That baby's gonna die! It gonna die! –Broadway & Liberty Overheard by: CG Man talking animatedly on cell: Yeah! Don't be surprised if the baby comes out with a hairy red ass! –Spring Street, SoHo Middle aged woman: Your baby wouldn't stop crying, so I put my tit in his mouth. –W 12th & W 4th Overheard by: michael diamond

There's No Wednesday One-Liners Like Show Wednesday One-Liners

Festering pedestrian: Well, he didn't mention my name at the Tonys, and for that I'll never forgive him. –43rd St & 10th Ave Overheard by: Ryan Producer of an unsuccessful off-Broadway play: That's what this show makes me do. Everyday I get here and just squeeze my neck just like this, I just squeeze it. I don't do this anywhere else. –Chelsea Theater Overheard by: Kyle Audience member to friend: Of course it sucks. It's Shakespeare. —Macbeth Performance, Battery Park Hipster guy: I think this play is by the same guy who wrote Ten Things I Hate about You –NYCL Production of Shakespeare's Cymbeline, Central Park Overheard by: digamma Hipster girl: Last time I was in the third row, but I think I like these better. At least I won't get my head humped tonight. —Hair Performance, Delacorte Theatre Teenybopper at intermission: Joe Jonas would make such an incredible bodega guy! –Richard Rodgers Theatre

200 Wednesday One-Liners, and There's Nothing to Watch.

Professor: Do you guys watch American Idol? It's painful. –Lehman College Film student #1: It's kind of like Cloverfield meets The L Word. –Waverly Place & Broadway Valley girl wearing UGGs, pointing to Guggenheim: Oh! I think this is the building where Blair and Serena live! –Outside of Guggenheim Really effeminate 40-something man: I always pick up when he calls, and he was so mad I didn't this time… but I couldn't, because I was still in mourning over American Idol! –114th & Broadway Overheard by: Melissa Queer to female friend: I was watchin' Oprah the other day. Oprah is legit! She had Christina Applegate on. You know, that girl from Married with Children and she was talkin' 'bout her breasts. She got breast cancer and they took both of them off! She had on of them lumpectomies. –J Train Guy: That's the new American dream–fuck up your life so much that you get your own tv show. –Fundraising Walk, Battery Park Overheard by: Harriet Vane

It’s All Fun and Games Until Someone Wednesday One-Liners

Girl to friend: So last night I hit myself in the eye with my broom while baking lasagna, drunk. –Blarney Stone Pub Suit on cell: Oh man, you should definitely ice and elevate that shit. –AMC Lowes, 68th & Broadway Overheard by: Jessica Segal Man in wheelchair to woman pushing him: Remember when I hit that stroller head on and the kid passed out? –33rd b/w 7th & 8th Conductor on speaker: Please bring the first aid kit to car three, please bring the first aid kit to car three, a passenger has a bite. –Train Leaving Penn Station Teen to friend: And that’s how I got my penis stuck in a pencil sharpener. –Stuyvesant High School

Wednesday “It”-Liners

Guy: She *is* stupid. But in this unbelievably sexy way, so you don't even care. –10th St & 3rd Ave 16-year-old black girl, about Shia LaBeouf: He's the sexiest white boy. I'm gonna rape his ass. –Battery Park Teen girl on cell: I would never have sexy mushrooms in front of my mom. –Time Warner Center Overheard by: Scott 20-something girl on cell: Nah, I won't play second bitch! She's just mad because I always look nice and keep my sexy up. –Park Slope