Archive for the ‘Beastiality’ Category

“Moose, Elk, or Animals”?

Young earnest female: I don't care what that Palin bitch says… I mean, she is hot… like I would do her if her old man bailed on her.
Young bored female friend: You don't got no sense. She does frickin' moose, elk or animals and things.
Young earnest female: Men does sheep, why not women?
Young bored female friend: You ain't got the equipment, for one thing… –Pelham Stop 3 Overheard by: Deder

Wednesday One-Liners?E I E I O

Cop to another: So she said, "see ya later, alligator." To which I retorted, "in a while, crocodile." –Cunningham Park, Queens Girl on cell: That was the day I woke up with the pigeon in my bed! –Christopher St Law school chick, stopping and staring at pigeon in her path: You go girl! –East Village Girl on intercom: Llama needed at the Oyster Bar ramp for a spill! –Grand Central Suit to friend: I mean, I don't understand. If people really want to pay like $30,000 to hunt them, I don't see what the problem is. –Bronx Zoo Curly grey-haired middle aged crafty lady: If you let them have sex with goats, they'll leave children alone! –Crafts Fair, Red Hook Fairway Overheard by: Myrtle & Carlton

Wednesday One-Liners Lose Their Mittens

Large man on payphone: I'm gonna kill her, man! I'm gonna fuckin' kill her! Then I'm gonna kill my cousin! I'm gonna go back to my house, kill that bitch, get my fuckin kittens, and kill my cousin! I want my kittens, man! –SoHo Overheard by: trying not to laugh Father to kids: Which would you prefer, kitty casserole or puppy stew? –72nd & Broadway Suit: So one time I went into the bathroom and the cat was just like sitting on the toilet so I just unloaded on it. I told my roommate, like, "don't touch the cat" and then later I saw his girlfriend playing with it and hugging and kissing it. It was very funny. –Downtown 6 Train Upset-looking college student on cell: Ugh! My cat almost just died…and you're making this about your feelings?! –Columbia Quad Student: That's okay, I'll just eat my mom and fuck my cat. –Pratt Institute Overheard by: Toddlington Student: Well, the situation in the essay is hopeless, you know? It's like finding a kitten in the subway and you want to take it with you because kittens just don't belong in the subway. But then you remember that you live in a building that doesn't allow pets and your roommate is allergic. So, your roommate is going to hate you and your landlord is going to evict you. I realize this is a bad example. I just really want a kitten. –Eugene Lang College Overheard by: Colleen

Wednesday One-Liners Are So Fucking Glad It’s Over

Conductor: This is Prince Street. Not Half-blood Prince Street, but Prince Street. –N train Overheard by: she later invited the passengers to debate whether snape was a criminal or a hero 30-year old fan: … And then he sprinkled magic dust over her throbbing vagina… –Book release, Spring & Mercer Overheard by: santos l. halper Man to five-year-old son: Yeah, you know Harry Potter is now in this play in London where he plays a naked guy that has sex with horses? Comin’ to Broadway soon. –Harry Potter Pl on Mercer St Overheard by: i don’t THINK that’s how it goes actually… Girl glancing at boy reading Deathly Hallows: Does Frodo die? –Strings Attached Theater Company’s performance of Life As We Know It

Wednesday One-Liners Don’t Come in Vanilla

Dude on cell: Yeah, all we need is a nice leather whip and we’re all set. –10th & 4th 30-ish queer to another: Yeah, and he has a basket of clothespins for nipple play. –Grand St station Young boy jumping gleefully and clapping: Masochist! Gay masochist! Gay masochist! –105th & West End Older teen boy to younger teen boy: Yeah, you can’t do that. It’s called bestiality, and it’s illegal in this country… –68th, between Columbus & Central Park West Man with beer: You know the show Dance Off, Pants Off? I’m going to be on it in just an S-and-M mask. –Outside Madison Square Garden Shouting guy: I do not agree with sex with beavers! –Waverly Pl