Archive for the ‘Beauty’ Category

Paris Hilton: “That's Wednesday One-Liner.”

Hipster waitress to another: Camel toe is like, really hot, but also really uncomfortable.

–Williamsburg

College guy to friend: Dude, I'd definitely date a dude who looked like a hot chick… It's not gay.

–Hunter College

Overheard by: Stephen

Professor: Welcome to CUNY, it's like menopause. It's either too hot or too cold.

–City University of New York

Latino girl on cell: Bitch, please. I'm gonna look mad hot tonight. I'ma comb my hair!

–American Apparel

Male professor: I don't care how hot Brad Pitt is… If he sits on my lap, nothing's going to happen!

–New York Institute of Technology

Overheard by: Not Brad Pitt

What's Your Sign, Wednesday One-Liner?

Young man to pretty girl with glasses eating hot dog: That hot dog matches your beautiful glasses!

–Hot Dog Stand, 34th St

Overheard by: gothchick

Dude to girls crossing street: Hey, miss ladies! Youse look nice out!

–Ludow & Stanton

Overheard by: M & J

Guy to girl passing by: El sexy-o! I know how to say it in Spanish, I wanna know how to say it in Caucasian!

–14th St & 1st Ave

Crazy guy: Hey, Snow White! Come talk to Black Beauty. Cuz you know vanilla and chocolate make a good fudge, girl.

–W 110th St

Overheard by: Ashley

Bro standing in sidewalk, harassing passing girls: Hello! I've been waiting all my life for you! Hello, where have you been all my life? Hello, I eat pussy. Hello, I've got money. Hello?

–Union Square

Overheard by: Bruce Lee

…And You'd Better Use Some SAT Adjectives.

Hot girl: Hmmm, that's a synecdochical headline.
Hot boyfriend: What does “synecdochical” mean?
Hot girl: Well, synecdoche is a figure of speech where a part of something is used to stand for the whole of it, or where the whole of something is used to stand for a part of it. So, in that newspaper that guy is reading, when they say, “Detroit uses bailout money,” they really are talking about the automobile industry, not all of Detroit. They're using all of Detroit to refer to a major part of Detroit's economy. Synecdoche. They use this in newspapers all the time, come to think of it.
Hot boyfriend, smiling but clearly no longer following her: Girl, look at that vocabulary! You're so smart.
Hot girl, flatly: Yes, yes, I'm very smart. Now shut up about that and tell me how pretty I am.

–6 Train

Overheard by: someone with different priorities

The Kind Of Thing We've Come to Expect from Blondie.

Blonde in convertible: Hey, cutie!
Suit: (turns around briefly, keeps walking)
Blonde: Hey! With the nice ass, we were talking to you!
Suit, walking back to convertible: Yes?
Blonde: My friend here thinks you're cute and wants your number.
Suit: Uh… I'm flattered, but I have a fiancee, so I'll pass.
Brunette driver: I didn't ask if you were single, I said you had a nice ass and I want your number.
Suit: Again, thanks, but no.
Brunette: How about I give you mine?
Blonde: You know, for when the marriage doesn't work out.
Suit: Yeah, no. But you girls have a great day.

–3rd Ave & 46th St

Ever Wish You Could Vote Tourists Off the Island?

French tourist, after discussing America's faults in the world, to American man: Can you take a picture of us with the Statue of Liberty in the background?
American man: Ain't she a beautiful bitch?
French tourist: Why do you say “bitch”?
American man: Well, she's French. Welcome to America.

–Staten Island Ferry