Archive for the ‘Bimbettes’ Category

Mind the Gap (Stand Clear of the Closing Doors)

Chick #1: I went back on birth control this month. I’m using the Ring, except I don’t know if I’m using it right. I don’t want to take it out every time we have sex.
Chick #2: Wait, you shouldn’t have to take it out during sex.
Chick #1: That’s what I thought. Except, maybe I’m using it wrong, but I had sex and then afterward we couldn’t find it.
Chick #2: It can’t get lost up there!
Chick #1: It went so far up my cooter. And I swear I must have put my whole fist in there to fish it out.
Chick #2: There’s nowhere for it to go! It can’t get past your cervix.
Chick #1: How far up is my cervix?
Chick #2: Well, depends how long your vagina is. I think everyone’s is different. Maybe you have, like, a subway tunnel in there. –Bleecker Playground Overheard by: LMF

And Leprosy?

Hungover girl #1: You and Kevin* seemed to be having a good time last night.
Hungover girl #2: Yeah, it was weird, though… I think one of his teeth fell out while we were making out.
Hungover girl #1: … He has a tongue ring, you idiot.

–Columbia campus

Wednesday One-Liners Aren’t Metrosexual

Professor: Where is the line between what is homosexual and what is not? Is a circle jerk not gay? Oh, god. I’m sorry to anyone who doesn’t know what that is.

–NYU

Girl: It makes you look gay, and I don’t mean good gay.

–The Gap, 17th St & 5th Ave

Flamboyant man on cell: I got you the one that had an ‘L.V.’ on it… How am I supposed to know what that means? I’m not that kind of gay!

–Grand St & Broadway

Overheard by: callmedrpalmer

TA: We can talk about boy sex, but we can’t talk about homosexuality.

–Classroom, NYU

Queer: Wait, how did you end up the gayest? Because I started out the gayest!

–Time Square

Overheard by: Tourist Who Blends

Bimbette: No, Jesus was gay. That’s the only solution.

–4 train

Overheard by: solution to what?