Archive for the ‘Bimbettes’ Category

That’s the Third Time This Week

Bimbette art student #1, pointing at fresh grapes: I don’t get why they call ‘olive-skinned’ people ‘olive-skinned’. No one’s skin is that color!
Bimbette art student #2, after closer inspection of fresh grapes: Yeah, but those olives look messed up, I think they’re fake. Real olives are, like, darker or something.
Bimbette art student #1: Yeah, those olives are too light, that’s it. No one’s skin is that color of… of light green.
Cashier: Uhm, are you ladies in line? Can I get you some… Grapes?
Bimbette art student #3: Yeah, those olives are totally fake, that must be it.
[Group leaves deli.]
Cashier
: Did that really just happen?


–27th & 5th

It’s Enemas

Drunk girl: You’ve seen anal sex a million times in porn, but have you ever once seen shit on the guy’s dick? Or on the sheets?
Guy: Maybe they give the girls enemas first.
Drunk girl, draining glass: Well, they must give ‘em something, because in real life ass-fucking is a shitty business.

–Tony Awards after-party, Rockefeller Center

Overheard by: Big Larry

Think of the Starving Baby Birds in Africa

Guy on cell: Yeah…right…uh huh…hold on a second. He leans over and throws up on the sidewalk. Guy on cell: What were you saying? –59th & 5th Overheard by: Jeff Hubbard Woman #1: I wanna get really stoned so I can throw up.
Woman #2: Why?
Woman #1: Just to know I can. –LIRR Girl: I want to throw up. Like, I have some puke in the back of my throat. –Broadway & West 4th Overheard by: Julia