Dark haired girl #1: No, no, you can have an operation to stitch your cherry back up to have it popped again!
Dark haired girl #2: But you can be born with a vagina like that!
–NYU
Archive for the ‘Bimbettes’ Category
The Best I Can Do Is Hostile Humming
Hot girl #1: He was into weird shit.
Hot girl #2: Like what?
Hot girl #1: Well, nothing too crazy. Just unusual stuff. Like, he liked me to say degrading things to him as I was blowing him. If it wasn't sufficiently degrading he couldn't get off.
Hot girl #2: That is weird.
Hot girl #1: Yeah, and I mean, for one, I'm not really comfortable with that; and second, it's really hard to talk with a dick in your mouth.
Hot girl #2, seriously: Totally.
–Wine Bar, East Village
Overheard by: I've noticed this too.
Young Mr. Duran Is Just Hungry Like the Wolf
Pretty teen girl #1: Did you know there's a guy in our school who looks exactly like Taylor Lautner?
Pretty teen girl #2: Seriously?
Pretty teen girl #1: Yeah. His name is Alison.
Pretty teen girl #2: Ew. That's such an ugly name!
Pretty teen girl #1: I know. He like, stares… If you turn around and look at him, he's looking at you. All the girls think he's staring at them. You know how all the girls in that group are pretty?
Pretty teen girl #2: I know! It's crazy!
–Starbucks, Chelsea
Overheard by: Katherine Wallace
Oh, Sorry, I Farted.
20-something gorgeous gay man wearing tiara: He wouldn't tell me where he was, so then I said “let me smell ya dick!”
20-something drop-dead hot girl: Something's rotten in Denmark.
–Bleecker & W 4th
Whose Life Is It If You're Not There for It? Discuss.
Well-dressed 20-something woman: So yeah, I keep having sex with all these beautiful women, and then I have no memory of it whatsoever…
Well-dressed 20-something man: You're so lucky. I was roofied once, but my friends were with me the whole time. When I went to the doctor and got blood tests and they found Rohypnol in my system, I was like “and I didn't even fucking get laid?” (pause) That was literally my first reaction.
–Bowery & Prince
Overheard by: Sealed Beverage Drinker
Would That Be a Trick or a Treat?
College girl #1: I want to go trick or treating now…
College girl #2: Yeah, totally.
College girl #1: I don't think anyone would give us candy though… We'd just get raped.
–Party City, 14th St & 5th Ave
You Really Do Get a Little Something Extra with a Columbia Education.
College miniskirt #1: Wow, I feel so nauseous.
College miniskirt #2: It must be all the Adderall we took.
College miniskirt #1: You're right, I'll probably just throw it up when we get to the bar.
–110th St & Amsterdam Ave
Overheard by: Nikki
When Bratz Dolls Chat.
Girl #1: Do I look too slutty?
Girl #2: You look slutty, but not in an attractive way.
–Columbia University
Whether You Find This Cute or Pathetic Says a Lot About You As a Person
Hair-twirling woman: I did actually put sex on the calendar, because it's only been four months. That's not long enough for us to stop having sex yet! And I put it on his iPhone, so it popped up a reminder in the middle of the day too, and was all, “don't forget, sex tonight!” He was like, “this is the worst idea ever.” And then we had dinner and the alarm went off and I was like, “we have to have sex now, the iPhone said so!” And we did… and afterwards he was like, “that was amazing, why don't we do that all the time?”
–W 4th St
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Dr. Watson: Egad, Holmes!
Bored-sounding blond student: Hey, I like your sandals.
Bored-sounding brunette student: Hey, thanks. I like yours, too.
(long pause)
Bored-sounding blond student: I think we have the same sandals.
Bored-sounding brunette student: Yeah.
–Elevator, FIT