Archive for the ‘Bimbettes’ Category

Mind the Gap (Stand Clear of the Closing Doors)

Chick #1: I went back on birth control this month. I’m using the Ring, except I don’t know if I’m using it right. I don’t want to take it out every time we have sex.
Chick #2: Wait, you shouldn’t have to take it out during sex.
Chick #1: That’s what I thought. Except, maybe I’m using it wrong, but I had sex and then afterward we couldn’t find it.
Chick #2: It can’t get lost up there!
Chick #1: It went so far up my cooter. And I swear I must have put my whole fist in there to fish it out.
Chick #2: There’s nowhere for it to go! It can’t get past your cervix.
Chick #1: How far up is my cervix?
Chick #2: Well, depends how long your vagina is. I think everyone’s is different. Maybe you have, like, a subway tunnel in there. –Bleecker Playground Overheard by: LMF

Wednesday One-Liners Aren’t Metrosexual

Professor: Where is the line between what is homosexual and what is not? Is a circle jerk not gay? Oh, god. I’m sorry to anyone who doesn’t know what that is.

–NYU

Girl: It makes you look gay, and I don’t mean good gay.

–The Gap, 17th St & 5th Ave

Flamboyant man on cell: I got you the one that had an ‘L.V.’ on it… How am I supposed to know what that means? I’m not that kind of gay!

–Grand St & Broadway

Overheard by: callmedrpalmer

TA: We can talk about boy sex, but we can’t talk about homosexuality.

–Classroom, NYU

Queer: Wait, how did you end up the gayest? Because I started out the gayest!

–Time Square

Overheard by: Tourist Who Blends

Bimbette: No, Jesus was gay. That’s the only solution.

–4 train

Overheard by: solution to what?

Little Did He Know Her Credit Came With Zero Interest

Hispanic guy, noting hot chick passerby: Hey, baby.
Hot chick: (rolls eyes)
Hispanic guy: (takes off shirt and puts it on the ground for her to walk over)
Hot chick, stopping: I'll give you some credit for that one…but fuck off. (continues walking)

–50th & 9th

Overheard by: passerby

Headline by: ddv

Runners-Up:
· “A Dramatization Of Citibank’s Credit Protocol” – NoCredit

· “But…I Would Have Taken You to 4th Meal!” – Maddy
· “How Many Credits Do I Need to Save Up For a Blowjob?” – mark
· “It Was a Bad Day To Forget That He Was Wearing a Sports Bra” – Nick Pollotta
· “Matthew McConaughey Finally Gets Some Cred….” – RaindanceRichard
· “Next Time He Won’t Give a Shirt” – Sim Etrias
· “Raleigh Gets the Old “Fuck Ye” From Elizabeth Yet Again” – Laureen


Click here to see the new Headline Contest