Archive for the ‘Bimbettes’ Category

FAQsday One-Liners

NYU girl: It's a box, though… Can you FedEx a box?

–Starbucks

Overheard by: Elena

Tourist: So… Are we like, underground now?

–NRW Train

Overheard by: Stacey

Mom in toy store: Do you guys have any organic play-doh?

–7th Ave & Garfield, Park Slope

Overheard by: persiangroove

Teen tourist bimbo, looking at Rockefeller Center Christmas tree Swarovski tree topper: So, can we buy it?

–Rockefeller Center

Overheard by: Kaitlen

20-something girl: Wait, so what's a blog?

–55th & 6th

Thug on bus on cell: Yeah, I just got on the bus. How will I know when it's the third stop?
(goes on to get off on the second stop)

–Roosevelt Island

Cat: I Can Has Ballz Back?

Bimbette: So my cat jumps into my bed last night, like he always does, and he snuggles up next to me and all that, and as I'm petting him, I think, “I know he loves me 'cause I take care of him and everything… but does he also think I'm pretty?” You know?
Friend: (silence)
Bimbette: I really hope he thinks I'm pretty. I mean, like, compared to the other humans he's met. Right?
Friend: You are a) a total narcissist; b) totally creepy; or c) both. I'm leaning towards c).

–Starbucks, Columbus Circle

Overheard by: Unfortunately, he's just using you for food.

Wednesday One-Liners Reach Maximum Occupancy

Professor: All the buildings in Florence are five stories high, because they were built before elevators, and that's how many stories you can walk up with groceries before you die.

–Fordham University

20-something tourist girl to family, about subway: It's like an elevator, but opposite.

–N Train

Bimbette: I, like, ran into them in the elevator and they, like, literally gang-banged me.

–Astoria

20-something woman: Do you think he ever found out I didn't fall down an elevator shaft?

–F Train