Archive for the ‘Biotechs’ Category

That Something Being Consumptive TB

Hobo: Sorry miss, can you spare any change? I haven’t eaten all day.
Girl #1: …Oh I so hate it when they ask me for money. I mean, like I work all week and then I’ll just give away my money?
Girl #2: Yeah, I know, it’s crazy. I once told one of them, “Hey, do you have any idea how much NYU costs? I had to take loans!” But he didn’t even care! He just kept on coughing to pretend he couldn’t hear me or something. –L train

Dude, Would You Please Cowboy Up?

Desperate law student: But I love you!
Heartless biotech: That’s your problem, not mine.
Desperate law student: I can’t live without you.
Heartless biotech: So don’t.
Desperate law student: You wouldn’t even care if I killed myself, would you?
Heartless biotech: Not unless you decided to do it in front of my house and I had to have police and the media there. Then I’d be pissed.
Desperate law student: How can you be so cruel to someone who loves you so much?
Heartless biotech: Oh, just one thing — if you do decide to kill yourself try to do it the week of August sixth, ’cause I’ll be in Martha’s Vineyard with Jason then.

–Brooklyn Law School library

Overheard by: Big Larry – cringing with empathy

And Start Smelling Me, So I Don’t Have to Shower Later

Woman: You shouldn’t smell all of those. It’s not nice to the people that will buy them. Besides, you’re not even buying one.
Girl: What makes you think I’m not buying one?
Woman: It’s just not nice for you to smell them, is all I’m saying.
Girl: What, I’m going to use up all the smell? Just stop talking to me.

–Candle section, Kmart, Penn Station

Overheard by: kier

I Can’t Wait Not to Have One of My Own

Chick #1: Dude, everyone’s popping out babies these days. JLo, TomKat, Britney. It’s like they’re the new fucking accessory.
Chick #2: Yeah, who wants a fucking baby anyway? You just turn into a fatass with stretch marks and saggy tits with a screaming infant who no one wants to be around.
Very pregnant passenger: I’m due in two weeks.
Chick #1: Aww! Is it a boy or a girl?

–F train

Wednesday One-Liners Aren’t Metrosexual

Professor: Where is the line between what is homosexual and what is not? Is a circle jerk not gay? Oh, god. I’m sorry to anyone who doesn’t know what that is.

–NYU

Girl: It makes you look gay, and I don’t mean good gay.

–The Gap, 17th St & 5th Ave

Flamboyant man on cell: I got you the one that had an ‘L.V.’ on it… How am I supposed to know what that means? I’m not that kind of gay!

–Grand St & Broadway

Overheard by: callmedrpalmer

TA: We can talk about boy sex, but we can’t talk about homosexuality.

–Classroom, NYU

Queer: Wait, how did you end up the gayest? Because I started out the gayest!

–Time Square

Overheard by: Tourist Who Blends

Bimbette: No, Jesus was gay. That’s the only solution.

–4 train

Overheard by: solution to what?

I Need to Trade Up While I Still Have the Downpayment

Chick: My boyfriend told me that we shouldn’t keep our bank accounts together anymore. That way, when he bought the ring it would come out of his money, not our money.
Coworker: Awww, that’s sweet! What did you say?
Chick: I said that was a good idea… Which it is, because we’ll have to do it eventually when we break up. There is no way I’m gonna marry him.

–Vesey & West Side Hwy

Overheard by: On the periphery