Archive for the ‘Birds’ Category

Ahem, It's “Chicken Lady

Girl #1: I hate people who keep talking because they love the sound of their own voice! Like, unless you're gonna tell me about shoving a chicken up your vagina, I don't wanna hear it!
Girl #2: That's the second time we've talked about chicken girl and I still don't know her name. –Crown Heights Overheard by: chris k.

Wednesday One-Liners Use the Litter Box

College dude in enthusiastic conversation: I would totally be a cat-sniffer. –113th St & Broadway Tall man in heavy German accent: What do you mean the cat can't take a poopy because it is too loud? –2 Train Overheard by: Anna Flaky professional girl: I hate when people are like, "hey, look at that dead bird! Hey, look at that dead cat!" because god, I always look first! –42nd & 6th Overheard by: amalthya Girl on cell: Now you need to marry him for the discounted cat food! –10th st & 1st Ave

What Runs Through Parents' Minds When They Picture Their Kids in the Big Apple

Drunk hobo: You guys are attractive. You got the hair thing going on and you have the sideburns working for you. (flexes biceps)
Teenage boys: Ummm… Thanks.
Drunk hobo: Guys… listen. Guys… birds of a feather fly together. Birds of a feather fly together. You don't see seagulls flying with pigeons or pigeons flying with seagulls. Birds of a feather fly together! You guys have any money?
(they give him some change, he walks away)
Sketchy man overlooking: Wow… that guy was crazy. Do you kids want some weed or some blow? –Sitting Area, 48th & 8th Overheard by: Brendan

Craptacular Wednesday One-Liners

Man on cell: My identity has totally shifted, and so have my bowel movements. –Prospect Park Overheard by: Mickey Smith Girl to another: I took a shit in Starbucks… did you take a shit in Starbucks? –Outside Starbucks Woman to friend: There were no feces for (pause) two days. –Canal and W Broadway Overheard by: LizzieD Girl in toilet stall, repeatedly: Someone pooped on the floor! This is so gross! Medieval freaks! And it's shaped like a dragon! Come here and look at it! –New York Renaissance Fair British woman to man she's walking with, as they look at a pigeon: Of course he doesn't have to sit down to poo, he's a bird! –Washington Square South Enraged crazy old lady feeding pigeons, to punk kid chasing pigeons: Eat the caca! Eat the caca! –48th & 8th Overheard by: ShaghouseGirls