Archive for the ‘Birthdays’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners: “Toga! Toga! Toga!”

60-something white woman: They put on a good show. Those Jesuits really know how to party! –Penn Station Overheard by: Jeff Gay man to others, about parties: Yeah, I thought about going to the black party, but I'm not that gay! –7th Ave & 6th St Overheard by: NottRob Young woman: I'm twenty-seven. I've never been to a party, a sexy party, where I don't remember who I've slept with. –21st St & Lexington Overheard by: Jonas Chick on cell: I can't. It's my cousin's chihuahua's birthday party. –28th St & Lexington Overheard by: sounds like a rager

Birthday One-Liners

20-something guy on cell: My girlfriend's birthday is tomorrow. (pause) I don't know. Maybe a bong. –Penn Station Overheard by: Steve Popovich Girl to friend: I just wanted to hook up with him because we had the same birthday. –8th St & 5th Ave Rent cast member (shouting over shoulder): I turn 34 on Friday, I'm old but at least I made it past Jesus. –Nederlander Theatre Woman arguing loudly with her mother in the laundromat: My 30th birthday is gonna be ruined if we don't go to the wax museum! –4th Ave & 14th St, Brooklyn Guy handing out New York Post: Grab your free copy of New York Post, it's free, it's free! Oh, and happy birthday to me today, thank you very much for remembering it! Oh, what a lovely day… –42nd & Madison Overheard by: Eve

But She Has the Opposite Rule for Sausage

Cyclist #1: So how was your girl’s birthday?
Cyclist #2: All right, I guess. I kinda fucked up.
Cyclist #1: Fucked up? How?
Cyclist #2: Well, she’s vegan.
Cyclist #1: Yeah, so?
Cyclist #2: Well, I bought her a leather seat for her bike.
Cyclist #1: So what, man? She’s vegan — just because she doesn’t like cow in her mouth doesn’t mean she won’t like it in her ass. –Williamsburg Bridge Overheard by: Prolly

…But You Might Not Want It Back Once I Swipe It

Hobo: Happy birthday! Can I have a dollar?
Preppy guy: What? Sorry, I don't have any cash.
Hobo: I accept all major credit cards. –Columbus Circle Overheard by: cmtWHAT Headline by: eeny Runners-Up:
· “…Except Diner’s Club, I Have Standards, You Know” – DotTim
· “As Unemployment Rises, Technology Transforms the Bum Sector” – PeterG
· “Hobos: They’re Everywhere You Want to Be” – Coyoty
· “Mastercard: Avaliable in More Places” – MaccasGirl
Click here to see the new Headline Contest