Archive for the ‘Birthdays’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners: “Toga! Toga! Toga!”

60-something white woman: They put on a good show. Those Jesuits really know how to party!

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Jeff

Gay man to others, about parties: Yeah, I thought about going to the black party, but I'm not that gay!

–7th Ave & 6th St

Overheard by: NottRob

Young woman: I'm twenty-seven. I've never been to a party, a sexy party, where I don't remember who I've slept with.

–21st St & Lexington

Overheard by: Jonas

Chick on cell: I can't. It's my cousin's chihuahua's birthday party.

–28th St & Lexington

Overheard by: sounds like a rager

The Most Thrilling Conversation Leon Has Had in Weeks

Older gentleman: Man! Yesterday was my birthday. Guess how old I am?
Disinterested older lady: I dunno. 40s?
Older gentleman: I'm 53 but I still look like I'm in my 30s.
Disinterested older lady, deadpan: I'm a million years old.
Older gentleman: Where you headin'?
Disinterested older lady: Up to 125th Street, then I take the bus to Queens.
Older gentleman: Queens? I never been to no Queens. What's out there in Queens, man? I gotta visit one day.
Disinterested older lady: You ain't missing much.

–M15 Bus

Interestingly, This Is Exactly How Christianity Works

JAP: Oh my god, I totally have to go to my cousin's birthday in a week. Like she is such a bitch!
Follower: I hate her because you hate her.
JAP: What? I don't hate her, she is just a little bitch.
Follower: Like, what's the difference?
JAP, walking away: The difference is you are no longer my friend and luckily you are sooo replaceable.
Follower, running behind: I'm sooo sorry! Please don't do this!

–Whole Foods, Union Square

Wednesday One-Liners Are Another Year Older but None the Wiser

20-something: I didn't even realize it was my birthday until I checked Facebook!

–Upper West Side

Overheard by: mtrainetiquette

Girl to friend: We should celebrate tonight–it's my half birthday in 10 days.

–Crocodile Lounge, E 14th St

Tourist: See nobody is wearing birthday scars…

–34th St & 5th Ave

Guy to girl: Wait, did you really believe I was going to get you a Hello Kitty vibrator for your birthday?

–45th & 8th

Drunk girl to hobo: It's my birthday! You should be giving *me* money!

–111 & Broadway