Archive for the ‘Birthdays’ Category

…But You Might Not Want It Back Once I Swipe It

Hobo: Happy birthday! Can I have a dollar?
Preppy guy: What? Sorry, I don't have any cash.
Hobo: I accept all major credit cards.

–Columbus Circle

Overheard by: cmtWHAT

Headline by: eeny

Runners-Up:
· “…Except Diner’s Club, I Have Standards, You Know” – DotTim
· “As Unemployment Rises, Technology Transforms the Bum Sector” – PeterG
· “Hobos: They’re Everywhere You Want to Be” – Coyoty
· “Mastercard: Avaliable in More Places” – MaccasGirl


Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Ted Kennedy Also Had Sisters

Middle aged Latina to Latino boy, eating: Happy birthday! Look at you, surrounded by all these women on your birthday. You are going to be so nice when you grow up. You have five sisters. All the men in your family are grown up, and you got stuck with all the girls. So you're going to be so nice to girls when you get older. Right?
(boy is silent)
Middle aged Latina
: Right?

(boy is silent)
Middle aged Latina
: You're going to be nice girls when when you grow up, right?

Latino boy: Yeah, sure! Whatever!

–McDonald's

Overheard by: Didn't quite turn out that way

I Just Wondered How You Got Blue Ink on Your Tongue

Hipster dude: So what was the special going away gift he gave you?
Hot Latin chick: He let me sign his nuts this time! He's so fucking hot.
Hipster dude: Um…this time?
Hot Latin chick: Yeah, for my birthday I signed his penis.
Hipster dude: Stupid question…did you do anything else with it?
Hot Latin chick: Dude? I'm not a slut! …jeez, man.

–Bar, Williamsburg

Overheard by: likethisstupid