Archive for the ‘BJs’ Category

Wednesday One-liners Read in Union Square

Stoner: We’re on the verge of a spiritual revolution. It’s like Fight Club…but without the violence. –Union Square Overheard by: braun bowery Guy: The fact that bar was full of ugly girls is just ridiculous. –Union Square Crazy lady: Fine, stay where you are, Linda! Stay on the streets, stay in the gutter…but put all your stuff away! –Union Square Overheard by: Jen Woman: If I die of malaria, you can have my DVD player. –Union Square Lady on cell: …so what’s the difference between the East Village and the West Village? –Union Square Overheard by: feitclub Guy on cell: I didn’t throw the lamp at you because I was out of control, I threw the lamp at you because you said I was out of control. –Union Square Overheard by: John Guy: Dude! At least you’re getting head. Bad head is better than no head, any day of the week! –Union Square Overheard by: Joy Smoker

Wednesday One-Liners Are Shameless Pecker Checkers

Suit on cell: I said to him, "If I had my dick out on the bar, you think she wouldn't look at it?" and he kept telling me I owed her an apology, so I said, "Sweetheart, sorry I looked at your pussy." Listen, I gotta get off the train now. I'll call you back. –LIRR Overheard by: Pasty Guy standing at lowered urinal to guy standing at regular height urinal: The low urinal is for the guys with big dicks, so they don't bottom out. –Roc Restaurant Guy to group of friends (boisterously): I only date chicks with small hands…makes my dick look huge! –St. Andrews Bar Overheard by: allimax Woman (screaming into phone): Suck my dick, bitch! –Near Manhattan Mall Guy shouting into cell: We got a cab. And you can eat a dick. –Hanover & Water Overheard by: Kaitlen Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, we are being delayed because some dick is holding the door. We will be moving when the dick takes his arm out the door. –4 Train Overheard by: jessie

Wednesday One-Liners, a Worldwide Pants Production

Man on cell: The notebook is perfect and it also fits down my pants. –Penn Station Overheard by: I Love You Alex Hipster girl: So, as I was tasting him… Oh! My pants just unbuttoned! –W 12th St Overheard by: Paige Conductor: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. This is our last stop, Grand Central Station. Please make sure you have your purses, pants, makeup and fake eyebrows. –Grand Central Overheard by: Meaghan High school goomba on cell: He’s just mad because I’ve got my own style. Y’know, I decided what I wanted to be like — y’know, how I wanted to look — and went with it. Just wait until summer — he won’t be able to touch me. Yo, do you know how hard it is to find white pants in Staten Island if you’re a guy? I had to go to Brooklyn to get them! –S48 bus, Staten Island Overheard by: It’s not part of the uniform? Girl on cell: Just pull your pants down and take it like a man! –E 12th & 3rd Avenue Overheard by: Mistres Silver Dude: Remember when that Turkish girl stuck her hands in my pants? I was like, ‘Hold on. You’re Muslim and I’m Texan — I don’t think this is gonna work.’ –Cheapshots Overheard by: B Man to lady: I need pants desperately. I can’t wait! –32nd & Broadway

Howie: I Was Young, I Needed the Money!

40-ish white collar: Did you ever see that video on the internet where a woman blows a horse and she gags when he cums?
30-ish blonde companion: Ewww, no.
40-ish white collar: How about that video where this bald guy who looks like Howie Mandel inserts his entire head into this woman’s giant vagina?
30-ish blonde companion: No, I would have remembered that one.
40-ish white collar: Don’t you keep up with culture? –Waiting in line to see Martin Short in Fame Becomes Me Overheard by: Big Larry

Wednesday One-Liners' Next Stop Is Meth

Man shouting to woman nearby: Yo! You better hurry up. I got you a ride. I'm going straight to the bridge, and I ain't stopping for no crack! –Amsterdam Ave & 92nd St. Overheard by: Dana Girl in dress to friends: And that was the first time I sucked dick for crack… –10th St & Ave A Man to another as he walks away: Don't spend it all in one crackhouse. –SoHo Woman, yelling at man twenty feet ahead: Hey! Don't walk away from me. At least you got crack yesterday! –Broadway & 96th St