Woman on cell: Why aren't you looking for some boy to do it for free? –E 3rd & 1st Ave Overweight MTA worker with megaphone: Free shuttle buses to Utica Ave. Follow the crowd. Free shuttle buses to Utica Ave. Follow the crowd. No shirt, no shoes: no service! –Franklin Ave Subway Overheard by: Jesus Jon Homeless guy: Free boogers! Get your free boogers! –8th & 6th Overheard by: Zack Old woman with glass of wine and full plate, stumbling out onto the sidewalk: Ha! It's free! Everyone, free food! Ha! –Open House Art Exhibition, 106th St & Broadway Guy giving out free pens: Come on, don't be shy! Come get your free pens! This is New York City, only thing you're gonna get for free are these pens and your mother's love. –Kimmel, NYU Wanna-be thug eating ice cream: Wanna know how much I paid for this? S'free! I stole it. –125th St & Broadway Overheard by: EthanK Hobo stopped for stealing a box of bottled water: But Obama's President! Everything should be motherfucking free for the next 279 years! –Duane Reade
Bike messenger: Well, the problem with being a bike messenger is that you have to make stops, ’cause if you don’t make stops you don’t make any money.
Bike messenger: But if I find a gig where I don’t have to stop and I still made money, man, I’ll have it made. –5th St & Ave A
Female MTA employee: I ain’t seen you in forever! Did you start working nights again?
Male MTA employee: Yeah… It was alright. But then I got bored, so I started watching soap operas again. I can’t believe Tad still looks the same.
Female MTA employee: Shit, you like him?
Male MTA employee: Hell yeah, I’m OG. –4th Ave & 9th St station Overheard by: Tacologic
Large maintenance man #1: Yo, you remember your little girl you left a while back?
Large maintenance man #2: Fuck, man, why you gotta bring that up?
Large maintenance man #1: I think I fucked her last night.
Large maintenance man #2: How the hell would you know that?
Large maintenance man #1: ‘Cause she made that face you make when you lift shit. –15th St & Union Sq West Overheard by: margo
Tourist girl to friend: Oh my god, people are totally going to know we’re from Boston when they hear our accents!
Guy sweeping cigarette butts: No, people are going to know you’re from Boston when they hear you freak out and call the bomb squad over one of our electronic ads. –49th & 9th Overheard by: guy who dropped a couple of the cigarette butts
Woman on cell: I feel bad about ripping the kid off, but…
–Fort Greene Park
Overheard by: Zoe
Suit: Well, apparently I’m part psychic and part asshole.
Overheard by: quite the combo
Blue collar guy: I stopped giving to panhandlers 10 years ago. This guy hit me up every day at my stop and one day I gave him a sandwich and some cigarettes. I watched him and he threw the sandwich away. I went over to him and worked him over pretty bad. I dumped the trash can and took out the sandwich and then took the cigarettes away from him. Then I knocked him down again and took all the money out of his pockets. I was really mad when he threw that sandwich away. Now I never give anything to those guys.
Suit: Yep… –1 train, Houston St Overheard by: Amused Minnesotan Woman on cell: You see, this is why you just can’t be nice to people. I was nice to her once, once! And now she thinks we’re friends. Like I need this! –Bus stop near Radio City Music Hall Yuppie on cell: I don’t give a fuck about them. As long as I’m on their will, I don’t really give a shit. –34th St & 5th Ave Overheard by: Gunita Girl: So my grandma died last week and it sucked so bad, I had to drive all the way to Hartford on Saturday and I totally missed the huge sale at H&M. –Statue of Liberty Overheard by: SuziQ
Construction worker with Long Island accent: Man, I finally found Waldo the other day.
Construction worker #2: Yeah?
Construction worker with Long Island accent: Tall, striped shirt, weird shoes. And I was like, “there's Waldo!” –2 Train Overheard by: Waldo's alter-ego
A bike messenger almost plows through the crowd at a crosswalk.
Messenger: You gotta look! You gotta look!
Black Woman: Nigger, you look! You ain’t drivin’ no car! –44th & Madison
Cleaner: What a pair of tits on that girl! That's why we go to war, that's why we're in Iraq! –Service Elevator, Lexington & 41st St Overheard by: Nicky Annoying chick, about John McCain: I mean, he was a POW because he fucked up! –Shea Stadium Overheard by: megan Security guard, breaking up fight during peace march: You can't fight at the peace march! You can't fight at the peace march! –143 & Malcolm X Woman to screaming three-year-old: And that's why you have to register to vote! Or else they'll draft you and you'll have to go to war! –33rd & 2nd Girl on phone: I can just get a pass from the Israeli army. Don't worry about it. They're easy. –NYU Palladium Dining Hall
Male worker: He isn’t here today.
Woman worker: But I need him!
Man worker: But Mr. Clean ain’t here today!
Woman worker whining: When?
Man worker: Not today! –Electra Building