Male customer: Yeah, give me one of them Win for Life tickets.
Female customer: Is that a good one?
Male customer: Woman, is you crazy? You know they all bad!
–Bodega, 157th & Broadway
Overheard by: Evan S.
Archive for the ‘Bodegas’ Category
Just Making Conversation
Cashier: That’s $1.50.
Drunk: You’re killing me, man! Hey, do you know if the liquor store’s still open?
Suit: You don’t?
–10th St & 4th Ave
He Gets Cranky Without His Yoohoo
Vendor: I hate customers like you, with your big bills for a 95-cent drink.
Ghetto thug: I could always shoot your old ass, and have the soda for free if that makes making change any easier.
–207th & Broadway
That’s Like 7 in Dog Beers
Deli guy: Getting some beers?
Customer guy: Yup. Three for me and one for my dog.
–Bodega, Amsterdam & 109th
We Have Ourselves a Match
Teen boy: Do you have any matches?
Counter lady: Can I see ID?
Teen boy: You need ID for matches? For just matches?
Counter lady: I can’t give you matches without ID.
Teen boy: ID for matches…what the fuck is this world coming to?
–Bodega, Bay Ridge
Overheard by: Tim Noonan
Cashier chick: “You’ve got cigarettes, but you don’t have matches? That don’t make sense!” We sell lighters, stupidass. Buy one.
–Walgreens, 4th Avenue
Or You Could Swallow a Twinkie
Guy #1: I don’t know man, I thought when I had kids I would no longer want another woman. I thought it would end you?
Guy #2: Yeah yeah, it never ends.
Guy #1: If kids doesn’t do it, how do you make it stop?
Guy #2: Cupcakes.
–Bodega, 3rd Avenue & 10th Street
Tastes Not-So-Great, More or Less Filling
Guy #1: Dude, do you actually have a refrigerator this time?
Guy #2: Yeah, of course.
Guy #1: Good, ’cause I don’t want an infection like I got last year from putting the beers in the toilet tank
Guy #3: Man, you chilled the beers in the toilet?
Guy #1: No dude, the toilet tank! I thought I would be safe but I woke up with one swollen eye and two swollen fingers.
–Bodega, 12th & B
This Medal Smells Funny
Guy: What flavor should I get?
Drunk girl: I’d get butter pecan but I’m lactose intolerant and it’d make me shit like a champ.
–Bodega, Houston & 6th
He Thinks the Cones are Sort of Kitschy
Bodega guy: Hey, weren’t you at the Mets game?
Black guy: I’d rather be at a motherfuckin’ Ku Klux Klan rally.
–Bodega, Market & Monroe
Overheard by: benjamin lightle
Stupid False Advertising! Technically, She’s Right.
Chick #1: I want chocolate, but no nuts. What kind of candy bar doesn’t have nuts?
Chick #2: Um…Almond Joy?
–Bodega, 44th & 9th
Overheard by: Peter Shankman