Hipster: I went to a Polish beauty pageant last night in Brooklyn. It totally blew my brains apart. –Williamsburg
Archive for the ‘Body Parts’ Category
Change your Brain
Seen reading in the Starbucks in the Barnes & Noble on Union Square: a man in his mid-20s reading a book titled, Change your brain, Change your life
Getting Served Left and Right
Teen subway dancer: Why you opening your mouth? No one’s talking to you.
Kid subway dancer: That’s why I got a mouth. So I can talk.
Teen subway dancer: I don’t like nosey niggers.
Kid subway dancer: At least I don’t sleep outside!
–D Train
A Really Dirty Martini
Middle-aged woman: I want Gloria Steinem’s eyeballs in my fucking martini! –East Village
Is There a Right Answer to This?
Gay man: Have you ever smelled your ass, after you buttfuck? –18th & 6th Overheard by: Dana
“Shove it!”
Man: I can’t eat ketchup. It makes my scalp sweat. –West Village
The Boogieman is Real, and Rides the L
A group of little kids are selling M&Ms on the train, perhaps to raise money for their school’s basketballing team. Homeless black dude with silver teeth enters and proceeds to yell at them. Hobo: I WANT WHAT’S IN YOUR BELLY! I WANT WHAT’S IN YOUR BELLY! –L Train Overheard by: Vickers Bastard Gringo
No One Invited Me
Woman: Something got stuck in my sinuses, then it went down my spine and had a party. –BBQ, UWS
And now presenting: Truly Tasteless Jokes
Girl: What’s the difference between a priest and a pimple?
Guy: What?
Girl: A pimple waits until you’re 13 before coming on your face.
–Greenwich St., Financial District
That’s why everyone’s in tight clothing
Overweight woman: “I honesty think there must be a shortage of fabric or material because all shirts are baby tees and all pants are to small and low on the hips, I dont get it” – Manhattan