Woman on phone: No, my nose isn’t big by New York standards, but in Texas it’s huge. –Midtown office
Hottie: …and then I want to tell them: less gooch, more cooch. –DtUt, LES Overheard by: e. glass HS kid: My friend’s dad can blow smoke stars. –Columbus Circle
Hubby: That woman just grabbed my ass!
Wifey: Yeah, you wish. –Outside the Hard Rock, W 57th St. Overheard by: Ron Marler
Man: I can’t eat ketchup. It makes my scalp sweat. –West Village
A group of little kids are selling M&Ms on the train, perhaps to raise money for their school’s basketballing team. Homeless black dude with silver teeth enters and proceeds to yell at them. Hobo: I WANT WHAT’S IN YOUR BELLY! I WANT WHAT’S IN YOUR BELLY! –L Train Overheard by: Vickers Bastard Gringo
Woman: Something got stuck in my sinuses, then it went down my spine and had a party. –BBQ, UWS
Girl: What’s the difference between a priest and a pimple?
Girl: A pimple waits until you’re 13 before coming on your face. –Greenwich St., Financial District
Overweight woman: “I honesty think there must be a shortage of fabric or material because all shirts are baby tees and all pants are to small and low on the hips, I dont get it” – Manhattan
Woman upon seeing a Mariachi band walk by: Why do they have tambourines on their legs? – Manhattan
Gray-haired Man: I can get a hell of a lot more with my finger than I can with that. –East of Eighth, 23rd St. Overheard by: Megan Buckley