Seen reading in the Starbucks in the Barnes & Noble on Union Square: a man in his mid-20s reading a book titled, Change your brain, Change your life
Crazy: So I had to get fillings in all of my teeth.
Passenger: Uh huh.
Crazy: But I figured, why let them do that to me after they drilled holes in my brain, ya know?
Crazy: But I figured, might as well! Although if they were going to fill my teeth, I’d want them to use jelly.
Crazy: But the guy at the counter said they were out of jelly. So I got a blueberry muffin.
Overheard by: Johnny Shizzle
Girl #1: I hate how my body is cold but my face is freezing off.
Guy: You could wear a ski mask.
Girl #1: But then you look like a douche.
Girl #2: Yeah, like that guy [across the street].
Girl #1: He’s not wearing a ski mask. He’s black. –26th & 7th Overheard by: Ricki Lagotte
Guy: What’s that on your finger?
Girl: It’s a ring.
Guy: I think your ring has an infection. –South Street Seaport
Drunk girl to very drunk guy falling asleep on girl: Get the fuck off her lap!
Very drunk guy, slurring: She grabbed me.
Drunk girl: That was me, you idiot!
Overheard by: Brooke
Guy #1: I just don't like the look of the outie. And sometimes she rubs it against me, it creeps me out!
Guy #2: Dude, she's fuckin' hot! And you're complaining when she rubs against you?
Guy #1: No, no, no–she's not rubbing against me, she's rubbing the outie against me–big difference! And she's only doing it to creep me out, 'cause she thinks it's funny.
Preteen boy #1, looking at tiny Yorkie: Wow, that is the smallest thing I've ever seen.
Preteen boy #2: That's what she said.
Preteen boy #1: Yeah, that's what she didn't say about you! I mean, that's what she didn't say to me! That's what she said about you!
–30th Ave, Astoria
Overheard by: real smooth.
Extreme sports guy #1: I broke my leg last summer.
Extreme sports guy #2: Dude, I broke my leg once. I broke both bones in both wrists this one time.
Extreme sports guy #1: What, were you snowboarding or something?
Extreme sports guy #2: No, I fell off the monkey bars. I was in the third grade.
Five-year-old boy: When I was three I saw you naked.
15-year-old brother: When I was three you weren't here.
–Pool, Red Hook
Boyfriend: Don't do that. Hey, you just sexually abused me!
Girlfriend: Yeah, but you liked it.
Overheard by: Kait