Woman: Something got stuck in my sinuses, then it went down my spine and had a party. –BBQ, UWS
Archive for the ‘Body Parts’ Category
And now presenting: Truly Tasteless Jokes
Girl: What’s the difference between a priest and a pimple?
Guy: What?
Girl: A pimple waits until you’re 13 before coming on your face.
–Greenwich St., Financial District
That’s why everyone’s in tight clothing
Overweight woman: “I honesty think there must be a shortage of fabric or material because all shirts are baby tees and all pants are to small and low on the hips, I dont get it” – Manhattan
Now She's Insulting Me!
Drunk girl to very drunk guy falling asleep on girl: Get the fuck off her lap!
Very drunk guy, slurring: She grabbed me.
Drunk girl: That was me, you idiot!
–Q Train
Overheard by: Brooke
There Are Niche Fetishists Who Would Pay Top Dollar for That Footage
Guy #1: I just don't like the look of the outie. And sometimes she rubs it against me, it creeps me out!
Guy #2: Dude, she's fuckin' hot! And you're complaining when she rubs against you?
Guy #1: No, no, no–she's not rubbing against me, she's rubbing the outie against me–big difference! And she's only doing it to creep me out, 'cause she thinks it's funny.
–6 Train
Alex Placed Dead Last at the Insult Olympics.
Preteen boy #1, looking at tiny Yorkie: Wow, that is the smallest thing I've ever seen.
Preteen boy #2: That's what she said.
Preteen boy #1: Yeah, that's what she didn't say about you! I mean, that's what she didn't say to me! That's what she said about you!
–30th Ave, Astoria
Overheard by: real smooth.
Way to Trivialize Our Noble Quest, Curtis
Extreme sports guy #1: I broke my leg last summer.
Extreme sports guy #2: Dude, I broke my leg once. I broke both bones in both wrists this one time.
Extreme sports guy #1: What, were you snowboarding or something?
Extreme sports guy #2: No, I fell off the monkey bars. I was in the third grade.
–L Train
Raise Your Hand If You Think This Would Make a Good Performance Art Installation at the MoMA
Five-year-old boy: When I was three I saw you naked.
15-year-old brother: When I was three you weren't here.
–Pool, Red Hook
Carry On, Then
Boyfriend: Don't do that. Hey, you just sexually abused me!
Girlfriend: Yeah, but you liked it.
–L Train
Overheard by: Kait
A Walking Salad Is Not for Everyone
Irritated man to girlfriend: Oh my god! You are so fucking stupid!
Girlfriend: You are so mean! (stops suddenly) Oh my god! I just got ranch dressing in my ear!
–Times Square