Archive for the ‘Boob Job’ Category

Like Squeezing a Stress Doll

Bouncer: Nice. Are those real?
Hottie: What do you think?
Bouncer: Can I check?
Hottie: You can poke at ’em, just don’t feel them up. He does so. Bouncer: You can tell that they’re fake.
Hottie: Well, they’re bigger than they used to be. –Club Spirit, Chelsea Overheard by: Johnny Envelope

A Nice Set of Wednesday One-Liners

Modest hoochie: Yeah, I can always tell if a guy’s a fag or not by whether he checks out my tits. –Penn Station Teenage girl: That’s ’cause Puerto Ricans come up to you and be like, “Hey, Mami, lookin’ hot,” but Dominicans come up to you and be like, “Yo, Mami, you got nice tits!” –Columbus Circle Overheard by: erlinflask Woman in tight shirt: I just know, you know, that at some point I’m going to have saggy boobs. –Ave A between 5th & 6th Overheard by: Nathan Guy: I contend that if you’re going to allow someone to breast-feed in a public place, then I should be allowed to stare. –Wd~50, Clinton St Overheard by: Evan Toothless Brooklynite: I’m sayin’ she used to have some good pussy and some big ole titties. I’m talking double E-E’s. And she went to the doctor and had them cut off. Her titties was cut off! –A train Overheard by: The Law Professor Teen girl to mother: Maybe I’ll do that. Or maybe I’ll just give myself a boob job with a rusty butter knife and water balloons! –N train Guy: Well, it’s not like you can’t say you’ve never had your bosom in somebody’s elbow before. –Stage door, Eugene O’Neill Theatre, West 49th St

Melonsday Jug-Liners

Middle-aged theatrical man, watching summer crowds: Ah! Manhattan in the summer… The hypnotic sway of the unfettered breast… –Rockefeller Center Woman on cell to friend: If I have hips this big and I haven't even had a kid, I'm getting boobs. I just want a nice round c cup! –14th St & 10th ave Overheard by: adam Girl to boyfriend, after putting cell phone in her jacket: Yeah… That's not a pocket, that's my tit. –L Train Overheard by: TR Guy on cell phone: What's up, biscuit-tits? –21st St & 5th Ave Overheard by: Steve 16-year-old girl to buxom pal: Your breasts are a personal attack on me! –F Train Overheard by: wish i was being attacked

The iTouch App We've All Been Waiting for

Blonde #1: I just got my boobs done!
Blonde #2: Oh, wow! They're so cute!
Blonde #1: They don't look too big or rock hard, do they? They hurt so much, I feel like a damn porn star!
Blonde #2: No, they look awesome!
Blonde #1: Wanna feel them?
Blonde #2: (squeezes friend's boobs) –Apple Store, 14th St Overheard by: Susie