Blonde: I had to spend 10,000 fucking dollars to get my boobs fixed. They were, like, all puckered and withered. –43rd and Madison
Bouncer: Nice. Are those real?
Hottie: What do you think?
Bouncer: Can I check?
Hottie: You can poke at ‘em, just don’t feel them up. He does so. Bouncer: You can tell that they’re fake.
Hottie: Well, they’re bigger than they used to be. –Club Spirit, Chelsea Overheard by: Johnny Envelope
Guy: Hottest piece of ass I’ve ever seen.
Girl: She is beautiful, huh?
Girl: So you think they’re real?
Guy: I dunno.
Girl: I think they’re natural. –Houston & Lafayette
Middle-aged theatrical man, watching summer crowds: Ah! Manhattan in the summer… The hypnotic sway of the unfettered breast…
Woman on cell to friend: If I have hips this big and I haven't even had a kid, I'm getting boobs. I just want a nice round c cup!
–14th St & 10th ave
Overheard by: adam
Girl to boyfriend, after putting cell phone in her jacket: Yeah… That's not a pocket, that's my tit.
Overheard by: TR
Guy on cell phone: What's up, biscuit-tits?
–21st St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: Steve
16-year-old girl to buxom pal: Your breasts are a personal attack on me!
Overheard by: wish i was being attacked
Blonde #1: I just got my boobs done!
Blonde #2: Oh, wow! They're so cute!
Blonde #1: They don't look too big or rock hard, do they? They hurt so much, I feel like a damn porn star!
Blonde #2: No, they look awesome!
Blonde #1: Wanna feel them?
Blonde #2: (squeezes friend's boobs)
–Apple Store, 14th St
Overheard by: Susie
Smoking cook, watching busty girl carrying shopping bags: Jesus…
Busty: I'm not Jesus, I'm the wardrobe lady! And my boobs are real!
–12th & 6th
Overheard by: that guy
Sketchy guy to hot girl: Hey, baby girl, I like takin' long walks through the projects, sittin' on a park bench eatin' French fries… (she walks away) Hey baby, come back!
–Christopher & 7th
Guy to girl walking down the street: Hey you…I wanna get on your bus.
–125th b/w Park & Lexington
Overheard by: Reilly
Big dude to hot girl: Hey girl, come talk to me for a minute. (she stays still) C'mon girl, chubby thugs need love too.
–Franklin Ave & Eastern Parkway, Brooklyn
Black thug to white girls: I'm Barack Obama's cousin, wanna go on a date? (they pass) That's gonna be my new pickup line, yo.
–33rd St & 6th Ave
Guy, as a curvy woman struts past him: Shake what yo momma gave you…not what yo momma paid for!
Overheard by: Meredith
Seton Hall jock, leering at female in next seat: Wow, this ticket has more holes in it than I've ever seen before!
Drunk guy to girl on subway platform, after Yankees game: I'm a classy guy! I will take you to the fucking Radisson!
–Yankee Stadium Subway Platform
Black woman #1: When is the silicon going to dry?
Black woman #2: It's in bags. In my boobs. Dumb bitch.
Overheard by: Lacy
Little kid: We're going to the city to get mommy titties!
Punk chick: This thing needs bazooms. I'm a punker chick with itty bitties.
Girl to female friend: Hey, did you know today is the three-year anniversary of my boobs?
Crazy lady trying to exchange a shirt: I can't go to work with my tits hanging out!
–Abercrombie & Fitch
Overheard by: me neither.
Chick on cell: In his defense, I forget about breasts, too.
Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy
Drunk guy #1: Alright, just saying, if all of us and our friends were chicks, who would get a boob job?
Drunk guy #2: Oh, definitely Mike*. You know, I would definitely say him. He's pretty vain.
(two innings and many beers later)
Drunk guy #1: Alright, if we all were chicks, who'd be clean shaven?
Drunk guy #3: It'd be Steve*. I mean, he already manscapes!
Overheard by: Number 6
Headline by: stephie
· “Alright, If We All Were Chicks, What Base Would You Go to With Me?” – Rosie
· “And Which One Would Go Lesbian With Me?” – Meredith
· “And to Answer Your Next Question, Frank Already Does Anal So…..” – I’d shave too.
· “How We Ended Up Giving One Another Head, But Not in a Gay Way” – Rionn Fears Malechem
· “Then Raise Your Beers and Answer Me This, “Who Would Swallow?”" – Bobo D Clown
Click here to see the new Headline Contest