Archive for the ‘Boob Job’ Category

Like Squeezing a Stress Doll

Bouncer: Nice. Are those real?
Hottie: What do you think?
Bouncer: Can I check?
Hottie: You can poke at ‘em, just don’t feel them up. He does so. Bouncer: You can tell that they’re fake.
Hottie: Well, they’re bigger than they used to be. –Club Spirit, Chelsea Overheard by: Johnny Envelope

A Nice Set of Wednesday One-Liners

Modest hoochie: Yeah, I can always tell if a guy’s a fag or not by whether he checks out my tits.

–Penn Station Teenage girl: That’s ’cause Puerto Ricans come up to you and be like, “Hey, Mami, lookin’ hot,” but Dominicans come up to you and be like, “Yo, Mami, you got nice tits!”

–Columbus Circle

Overheard by: erlinflask Woman in tight shirt: I just know, you know, that at some point I’m going to have saggy boobs.

–Ave A between 5th & 6th

Overheard by: Nathan Guy: I contend that if you’re going to allow someone to breast-feed in a public place, then I should be allowed to stare.

–Wd~50, Clinton St

Overheard by: Evan Toothless Brooklynite: I’m sayin’ she used to have some good pussy and some big ole titties. I’m talking double E-E’s. And she went to the doctor and had them cut off. Her titties was cut off! –A train Overheard by: The Law Professor Teen girl to mother: Maybe I’ll do that. Or maybe I’ll just give myself a boob job with a rusty butter knife and water balloons! –N train Guy: Well, it’s not like you can’t say you’ve never had your bosom in somebody’s elbow before. –Stage door, Eugene O’Neill Theatre, West 49th St

Melonsday Jug-Liners

Middle-aged theatrical man, watching summer crowds: Ah! Manhattan in the summer… The hypnotic sway of the unfettered breast…

–Rockefeller Center

Woman on cell to friend: If I have hips this big and I haven't even had a kid, I'm getting boobs. I just want a nice round c cup!

–14th St & 10th ave

Overheard by: adam

Girl to boyfriend, after putting cell phone in her jacket: Yeah… That's not a pocket, that's my tit.

–L Train

Overheard by: TR

Guy on cell phone: What's up, biscuit-tits?

–21st St & 5th Ave

Overheard by: Steve

16-year-old girl to buxom pal: Your breasts are a personal attack on me!

–F Train

Overheard by: wish i was being attacked

The iTouch App We've All Been Waiting for

Blonde #1: I just got my boobs done!
Blonde #2: Oh, wow! They're so cute!
Blonde #1: They don't look too big or rock hard, do they? They hurt so much, I feel like a damn porn star!
Blonde #2: No, they look awesome!
Blonde #1: Wanna feel them?
Blonde #2: (squeezes friend's boobs)

–Apple Store, 14th St

Overheard by: Susie

Wednesday One-Liners Bring Their B Game

Sketchy guy to hot girl: Hey, baby girl, I like takin' long walks through the projects, sittin' on a park bench eatin' French fries… (she walks away) Hey baby, come back!

–Christopher & 7th

Guy to girl walking down the street: Hey you…I wanna get on your bus.

–125th b/w Park & Lexington

Overheard by: Reilly

Big dude to hot girl: Hey girl, come talk to me for a minute. (she stays still) C'mon girl, chubby thugs need love too.

–Franklin Ave & Eastern Parkway, Brooklyn

Black thug to white girls: I'm Barack Obama's cousin, wanna go on a date? (they pass) That's gonna be my new pickup line, yo.

–33rd St & 6th Ave

Guy, as a curvy woman struts past him: Shake what yo momma gave you…not what yo momma paid for!

–Shuttle Train

Overheard by: Meredith

Seton Hall jock, leering at female in next seat: Wow, this ticket has more holes in it than I've ever seen before!

–NJ Transit

Drunk guy to girl on subway platform, after Yankees game: I'm a classy guy! I will take you to the fucking Radisson!

–Yankee Stadium Subway Platform