Archive for the ‘Boob Job’ Category

Big, Natural Wednesday One-Liners

Girl: It’s like, ‘Hey, you’re a nice guy and I’ve got boobs… So let’s do something about this.’

–33rd & 7th

Dude: You would want to blow up the world, too, if your mother gave you a wolf titty to suck on.

–1 train

Metrosexual: I like boobs better than titties.

–Stuyvesant Town

Overheard by: Argopelter

B&T teen: I don’t know what you want me to do about my chest. I’m 17 years old! You want me to get implants? Would that make you happy, Mom?

–Dressing room, Macy’s, Herald Square

Woman on phone in cubicle: I borrowed that money to pay for my boob job. If they want to repossess them, they know where to find them.

–Office, Woolworth Building

Overheard by: Big Larry

Student: Why can’t I grab your boob in a totally care-free way?

–Lang cafeteria

A Nice Set of Wednesday One-Liners

Modest hoochie: Yeah, I can always tell if a guy’s a fag or not by whether he checks out my tits.

–Penn Station Teenage girl: That’s ’cause Puerto Ricans come up to you and be like, “Hey, Mami, lookin’ hot,” but Dominicans come up to you and be like, “Yo, Mami, you got nice tits!”

–Columbus Circle

Overheard by: erlinflask Woman in tight shirt: I just know, you know, that at some point I’m going to have saggy boobs.

–Ave A between 5th & 6th

Overheard by: Nathan Guy: I contend that if you’re going to allow someone to breast-feed in a public place, then I should be allowed to stare.

–Wd~50, Clinton St

Overheard by: Evan Toothless Brooklynite: I’m sayin’ she used to have some good pussy and some big ole titties. I’m talking double E-E’s. And she went to the doctor and had them cut off. Her titties was cut off! –A train Overheard by: The Law Professor Teen girl to mother: Maybe I’ll do that. Or maybe I’ll just give myself a boob job with a rusty butter knife and water balloons! –N train Guy: Well, it’s not like you can’t say you’ve never had your bosom in somebody’s elbow before. –Stage door, Eugene O’Neill Theatre, West 49th St

I See Your Points

Chick: Is that Broadway? I think it is. I can’t see.
Burly guy: Yeah. Didn’t you put your contacts in?
Chick: No. I haven’t bought new ones yet.
Burly guy: Jesus, Jen! You’ll buy boobs but you won’t buy contacts?
Chick: What’s more important: contacts or boobs?

–Union Square

Overheard by: Erica