Archive for the ‘Booty Call’ Category

Orthodox Mormons Have All the Fun

Guy on cell: Hello?…What do you mean you have bad news?…You’re pregnant? How could you be pregnant?…I thought you were on the Pill? How did this happen?!…I just got engaged to your sister on the 4th of July…This is really bad news…How long have you known?…A week?! Why did you wait a week to tell me?…Your sister is going to go through the roof…No, she doesn’t come back until Monday…So, I’ll see you tonight?…I told you, I just got engaged to your sister. You can’t be pregnant…Okay, have a good afternoon.

He makes another call.

Guy on cell: Hey…You know Claire*?…Yeah, Lauren’s* sister…Yeah, the hot one…Well, she’s pregnant…Me!

–46th between 5th & 6th

Fifth: Dick.

Young woman #1, before movie starts: I'm gonna go.
Young woman #2: Why? Don't go.
Young woman #1: I'm gonna meet up with my man.
Young woman #2: Come on! Don't you want to stay for the movie?
Young woman #1: I'm gonna leave now cause: first of all… booty call. Second of all… dick. Third of all… dick. Fourth… my man is sick and I have Tums with me.

–Movie, Bryant Park

In the Name Of the Father, the Son, and the Wednesday One-Liner

Husband pushing carriage to wife: You're lucky I'm on my way to church right now, or I'd kill you.

–Upper West Side

Chick on cell: But the real question is, is he Catholic? And an insomniac?

–113th & Broadway

Overheard by: Poogins

Sequined Australian drag queen: Well, I know an Antichrist religion when I see it.

–2nd St & 2nd Ave

Overheard by: Alisha

Girl on phone: He told me he was raped by a Catholic priest when he was little, but like I don't believe him.

–Butler Library, Columbia University

Train conductor: 110th Street, Cathedral Parkway. There are churches here, you know.

–1 Train

Man to woman, after getting off cell phone: Ah, that was Nancy–booty call. She says I gotta get over there before she's got to go to church.

–Q Train

Overheard by: spygirl

Wednesday One-Liners Make “Unsafe Requests”

Homeless man: Eliot Spitzer for President!… Make the White House the whorehouse!

–Battery Park

NYU guy: So my friend who works for Eliot Spitzer called me the other day and asked me to ask his roommate to delete all his emails. He didn’t say why, but then about two hours later I found out about the whole prostitute thing… And now I’m a little worried.

–NYU Bus

AmNY newspaper guy, handing out papers with Eliot Spitzer’s picture on the front page: $80,000 for a ho, and we can’t get a raise!

–Outside 33rd St Station, 33rd & Park

Crazy guy, speeding on a bicycle through a crowd: Don’t even think about it people! I gotta make a party at Spitzer’s in ten minutes!

–43rd & Lexington

Overheard by: Dan J

Old lady: Why, if I were young like you, I could be a call-girl to scum-of-the-earth Spitzer!

–Laundromat, 34th St, Long Island City

This nigga on Overheard

Thug #1: We don’t even go to the movies or nothin’. She just comes over to smash it and then she leaves. She knows, too. She just comes over for some pipin’.
Thug #2: That’s where it’s at.
Thug #1: She got a 10-year-old li’l nigga, too. She knows not to ask for somethin’ serious. That li’l nigga in fifth grade! That nigga on MySpace!

–Houston & Suffolk

Overheard by: Rhymes With Lasagna

Headline by: ja

Runners-Up:
· “…And “To Catch A Predator”” – Stuck in the MidWest

· “He Comes Over for Some Pipin’ Too.” – Courtney
· “I Just Have to Wait for Her to Be in Eigth.” – Snark Sloper
· “That Li’l Nigga Gots Roast Beef and This Li’l Nigga Gots None.” – johnnyb
· “The Nucular Family” – Bill
· “The Waltons, 2007″ – G’night, John Boy


Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Cortitos Del Miércoles

Saucy Latina: I don’t want to get a bikini wax if it won’t be sexual.

–Dallas BBQ, Times Square

Overheard by: Ladle

Exasperated Latina: She makes me sin on freakin’ Ash Wednesday!

–42nd St. 4 station

Overheard by: Harriet Vane

Latina on cell: Hey, just calling to say hi… And tell you I’m never gonna see you again. Okay, bye!

–24th & 7th

Whiny Latina: I don’t want to sweat today — I can’t mess up my hair!

–New York Sports Club, Astoria

Overheard by: MissPinkKate

Loud Latina: He woke up and pissed in a bottle. I was like, ‘The bathroom’s right there! Why you gotta piss in a 40 bottle?’

–3 train

Overheard by: EthanK

Sassy Latina on cell: Well, you can just call your parents and tell them you’re a pig and need more than one woman and that’s why we aren’t getting married!

–Near Steinway St, Queens

Overheard by: ADC

Latino thug: That’s what we do. That’s what we do when we hangin’ out with a girl: smoke a blunt, watch a movie, and then we fuck. That’s what we do. All my niggas, that’s what we do!

–Ft Greene

Overheard by: Andrew

Wednesday One-Liners Are Out the Door Before the Condom Comes Off

Building worker on cell: Like her? No, I don’t like her. I have to like every girl that I bone? Terrible? Why is that terrible?

–52nd St & 6th Ave

Overheard by: blatto

Guy on cell: I’m looking for someone to, excuse my language, fuck, not just have sex with.

–Manhattan Ave

Overheard by: Jason

Eurotrash: So then I felt bad because he couldn’t guess who I was and so I gave him a hint. I told him I would meet him at six o’clock at the motel, because you know, that was like our place!

–34th St & 5th Ave

Guy: You sleep with them once and they expect you to bring your toothbrush and loofa over the next time.

–Tad’s Montana

Overheard by: Mishen

Girl on cell: Remember how I was talking to that guy in London? Well, he’s coming to visit for five days. Yeah, it’s gonna be fun. I’ve decided, after he leaves, I’m not going to talk to him anymore. What’s the point? It’s not even a relationship, it’s a pseudo-relationship. You fight and get mad and what for? I’m not moving to London, he’s not moving to New York. Yeah, so we’ll have fun, and then when he leaves, I just won’t talk to him anymore. How is that shady?

–N train, Astoria

Overheard by: MissPinkKate

Girl: Yeah, I feel like I’m bangin’ the whole world!

–Columbus Circle subway exit