Archive for the ‘Boyfriends’ Category

Then What's the War on Polyester?

Tattooed man holding copy of Peaceful Warrior: What about this? I think I'd like this.
Girlfriend: Why?
Tattooed man: It's about a big war or something.
Girlfriend (reading back of DVD): No, no. It's about a warrior.
Tattooed man: Yeah, so there has to be a war if there's a warrior.
Girlfriend: I don't think it's about a real war, it says something here about gymnastics.
Tattooed man: Gymnastics? That's like a faggot war or something. –Hollywood Video, Staten Island

Cute, Cuter, Wednesday-One-Linest

Portly young woman browsing dress for herself, nonchalantly: Oh, this is cute, but too bad it doesn't come in fat-ass-bitch size. –Target, Brooklyn 20-something girl to boyfriend: Oh my god, you are so cute I just wanna punch you in the face! –135th & 5th Overheard by: Howzith Middle-aged woman on cell exiting bus: You have a blessed day! (to phone) No, not you! I was talking to the bus driver–he was really cute! –Brooklyn Overheard by: B44 rider Student fundraiser to passerby: Taiwan needs help! Hey, you're cute enough to help Taiwan! –Columbia University Overheard by: L-Dubbs Cute blonde to friend at gym: Oh my god! Look! That looks like a cuter version of this bald guy I slept with in a closet over the summer! –14th & 3rd Overheard by: Rob Lovett

Wednesday One-Liners Don't Know How to Quit You

Young queer on cell, laughing: I mean, what is he going to blackmail me with? –9th & 47th Overheard by: wondering Older queer to boyfriend: There's nothing like listening to Bach after having sex! –W 72nd St, Record Store Overheard by: I'll have to try that sometime… (40-something gay guy is looking through a clearance rack of mismatched outerwear under sign that reads "Big and tall active bottoms")
60-something gay guy, yelling: Good luck, dahling, you're in the wrong section. Find where the big desperate bottoms are and try that! –KMart, Penn Station Overheard by: RoverUSA Gay black man to whimpering toddler held by mother: Don't even start with me… Thank the Lord you ain't my kid. –M15 Bus Young, good looking gay guy to much older ugly boyfriend: My ex-boyfriend always bought me presents… –86th St & Lexington

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Boyfriend: Hun, where are the turkey bags?
Girlfriend: Hunny! They are right in front of your eyes!
Boyfriend: Oh, I see them, thanks.
Girlfriend: What would you ever do without me?
Male stranger: You would be a lonely bachelor like me.
Girlfriend: Oh! That's sad. –Fairway Foods, 125th St Overheard by: spencer dorn

Anyone Else Hope She's Buying Birth Control?

Annoyed sexy girl: This is stupid! I don't see how you can just think one city is older than another!
Embarrassed boyfriend: Think about it. Can't you see how Rome would be much older than, say, Provo, Utah?
Annoyed sexy girl: Well, I've never been to either of those, so how would I know? –Duane Reade, Columbus Ave Overheard by: Veronica