Archive for the ‘Boyfriends’ Category

Where There's Smoke, There's Wednesday One-Liner

Guy at ATM to friend: The $60 fast cash button should just be labeled "8th of weed."

–Chase Bank, Astor Place

Probation officer to juvenile: You think you can't get arrested for marijuana? Are you out of your damn mind? You're taking a drug test right now, you out-of-your-damn-mind son!

–Bronx Family Court

Overheard by: Adog

Guy to girlfriend: The more stoned I get, the better you sound.

–72nd St & Broadway

Guy: So then I smoked a goodnight bowl at Chris's.

–E 10th St

Overheard by: What about a good morning bowl?

20-something to friend: I'll save the world second, but I'll get high first.

–Houston & Essex

Thanks to the Hypnotic Rhythm Of Our Argument

Woman in line at Duane Reade: I drank your water, um, that bottle of bottled water?
Boyfriend: The one with the vodka in it?
Woman: Yeah, and it, um, tasted funny. I had to lie down.
Boyfriend: Are you going to apologize?
Woman: No.
Boyfriend: Are you going to apologize?
Woman: No.
Boyfriend: Are you going to apologize?
Woman: No. You should have come to bed.
Boyfriend: I did. You were asleep.

–59th St & 10th Ave

Overheard by: Tanker

The Biggest Wednesday One-Liner

Girl to friend: Is there a way to block fat people on OkCupid?

–Bedford Ave & 8th

Girlfriend to boyfriend: Remember the other day when you told me I had a fat ass and I didn't curse you out? So now you gonna buy me something.

–Pizzeria, 77th St & 1st Ave

Overheard by: Eric

Older woman waiting for a seat: Oh good, the fat one got up. Shit, an even fatter sits down.

–JFK Airport

Overheard by: Henry Pena

Posh-looking Asian chick: But he consumed over 6,000 calories a day, so he deserved whatever he had coming.

–Park Slope

Overheard by: Ladle

White hip-hopper on cell: Yeah, she's so big I thought there was two of her. Then I realized she was a dude!

–Broome & Forsyth

Overheard by: Terry