Archive for the ‘Boyfriends’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Feel Pretty and Witty and Gay

Flamboyantly gay guy to gay friends: Why do I have to be the queen? Why can’t I just be regular?! –Christopher Street Overheard by: JMcheer Queer to another: I just want to bury my face in his ass! –67th & Park Ave Gay guy on cell: Oooh! I love playing straight! –1st Ave, East Village Overheard by: B Stressed gay worker: They always skip over my lunch break. Everyone else gets their lunch breaks but they always skip over mine. Ugh. Guys, I’m gonna take my 15 minutes. I’m taking my 15 minutes. I close tonight… Ugh, this is not the road to success! (storms off) –H&M Store Overheard by: nyu kid Queer to boyfriend: You know Romy and Michelle? I love that movie… That movie made me gay. –Restaurant, 19th & 8th Overheard by: batou187 Queer on cell: I know… I know! Gosh, that is sooo gay!
(bewildered elderly lady looks at him)
Queer to elderly lady (in shrieking voice): Oh my god, oh my god, the faggot said gay! –Central Park

The Biggest Wednesday One-Liner

Girl to friend: Is there a way to block fat people on OkCupid? –Bedford Ave & 8th Girlfriend to boyfriend: Remember the other day when you told me I had a fat ass and I didn't curse you out? So now you gonna buy me something. –Pizzeria, 77th St & 1st Ave Overheard by: Eric Older woman waiting for a seat: Oh good, the fat one got up. Shit, an even fatter sits down. –JFK Airport Overheard by: Henry Pena Posh-looking Asian chick: But he consumed over 6,000 calories a day, so he deserved whatever he had coming. –Park Slope Overheard by: Ladle White hip-hopper on cell: Yeah, she's so big I thought there was two of her. Then I realized she was a dude! –Broome & Forsyth Overheard by: Terry

Chinese Fighting Shoe

Girl: What happened?
Guy: Man, that girl brushed up on me, so I turned around, and the bitch said, “Don’t fucking look at me!” and she slapped me!
Girl: Really?!
Guy: And then my girl just starting beating on her!
Girlfriend: Haha yeah! Did you see all that blood?
Guy: Girl must have been coked out for it to come spilling out like that.
Girl: It was crazy! We didn’t know what was going on!
Girlfriend: Its like that time at the club when I took off my shoe! –Kellogg Diner, Brooklyn